Faith and Patience

Tom & his daughter Kaitlyn, were two of the guests I hosted a
few weeks ago. They are both remarkable people and it was
amazing to see how much this place touched their hearts. I love
the look of wonder on Kaitlyn's face as Dr.Gary explains
something to them.

In my Bible study group, we’ve been going through Hebrews and verse 6:12 has really stuck with me. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. What is the author saying is necessary to inherit the promises of God? Faith and patience. I think we could always use more of those. And this last week, I feel like God has been growing my measure of both faith and patience, through some remarkable encounters with patients and crew. Early in the week we learned about a delicate situation with one of the patients that the Comms team was following (I don’t want to give more details because it’s still in progress) and various members of the team came together to pray for the patient. We were all a little shaken by the situation and lifted the patient up to God, praying for healing and for wisdom and discernment for those who would make the tough decisions.

During our visit to the village with Don Stephens, Dr.Seraphine
brought us to visit his clinic where he does surgeries. This is the
inside of one of his OR's and Dr.Gary is examing his equipment
- all of which came from the previous Mercy Ship, the Anastasis.

The next day, I went on a palliative home care visit to accompany Nat Geo, who was filming the visit. As you can imagine, palliative (end of life) care visits are very difficult, but I found this especially so because the patient was a 14 month old baby. As we were welcomed into their home, and I understood the situation, I became overwhelmed with the hopelessness of it. I sat down and started to pray – I told God that I knew there was nothing else we could do to help this baby but I that if it was His will, could He please provide a miracle and save this baby. As the conversation with the family continued on, the grandma went and brought out documents that said that the tumour was benign. The team set up an appointment for the baby to come and have a CT scan and if it was indeed benign, to go straight into surgery. I was amazed. God had indeed produced a miracle. I just pray that the tumour is indeed benign and that everything would go well.

The line for the Eye Screening.

Later that week, I went and helped with the Eye screening that was taking place at the local hospital, to select the patients for cataract surgery in January. There were around 300 people in line and this was the 8^th day of screening. It was amazing to see how many people were brought by family members, people who helped them stand in line, explain what was happening and helped them shuffle inside. My grandma will be having cataract surgery in January (in Canada) and I couldn’t help but draw parallels between the two processes. Because of our health care system in Canada, the surgery is free for her, however she did had to wait almost a year. Instead of standing in a physical line, she essentially had to stand in a digital line. The big difference is that our government is taking care of her, while the people of Benin are being taken care of by an NGO, that is funded by people all over the world, and once we leave, that service will no longer be available to the people of Benin.

On Friday, just as we were ending the first session of our on ship ladies retreat, there was an overhead page that said Emergency Medical Team to OR3. In my time with Mercy Ships, I’ve never heard that announcement made. We all stopped immediately and began to pray (except for the emergency medical team, who sprinted down to OR3). Shortly afterwards there was a page for people with a specific blood type to go down to the lab. As time went on, we began to put the pieces together. It was one of the patient’s Nat Geo had been following, he was a few weeks post op and he was losing a lot of blood. Then they made an announcement asking everyone to stop and pray for the patient. A few of us were gathered in the Comms office and that’s what we did. It’s a pretty helpless feeling to be on a hospital ship in the middle of a medical emergency with absolutely no medical skills. But how we could help, was to pray, to petition God. All our national offices were also praying with us. We held a mini vigil in our office, praying and worshipping until we heard the last announcement for the night – the patient is in stable but critical condition. He has spent the last two nights in the ICU and is still being monitored closely, but from my understanding, it’s a miracle that he is alive and conscious after losing so much blood. One of our doctors wrote a really moving blog about what happened: https://carroninbenin.wordpress.com/2016/10/30/emt-to-or3/.

On our trip to the stilt village, one of our gurkhas accompanied
us - basically our very own James Bond.

All of these experiences really stretched and grew my faith. I saw God show up in amazing, miraculous ways. I was put in situations where all I could do was stop and pray. Some weeks, like when we’re sailing, bring home the fact that we live on a SHIP, but this was a week that really exemplified what it means to live in a HOSPITAL. What an insanely unique place to live, where work and life and community and love and professionalism and laughing are all brought together. And this brings me to where God was teaching me patience this week – although I know I’ll be working on this one until my last breath. In situations where you get drawn into an awkward power struggle or receive rude emails, I’m learning to do something other than respond immediately. I’m learning the power of waiting, consulting others and praying. And then, the problems seem to just solve themselves! People walk into my office as I’m about to finally respond and have already dealt with it or eliminated my dilemma. Waiting gives God an opportunity to work through the situation rather than me taking it into my own hands and dealing with it. At our retreat this weekend, we watched a Priscilla Shirer study and she talks about how we need to be still to hear God. Often He’s just waiting for us to stop for a moment and He will work in a situation (she explained it much better than that). I think God is teaching me to be still in various situations, at least long enough to see Him move in it. 

I’ve often struggled these past few months, filled with highs and lows, but the one thing I can’t deny is that God is working in this place. He is working in me. I think that’s a big part of my struggle – that He is constantly breaking me down and re-molding me. I learn new things every day, about leading and coaching, about loving on others, about forgiving myself, about nuance and empathy. I grow more competent in my job, yet less sure of my role. I grow more confident in Him, yet more lost in who I am and who He intends me to be. I read scripture like it’s the first time, that’s how much He is revealing, yet I am less certain of where I stand on controversial issues. But I know God is here and so that is where I want to be. 

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favour and honour;

no good thing does He withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

Lord Almighty,

blessed is the one who trusts in You.

~Psalm 84:10-12

Mary looks into the mirror for the first time after having surgery. What bravery that must take! A powerful moment, and a tangible example of how God is working to transform her life.