555 Days Away

Some quiet time in Limbe.

In less than one week, I will be back in Canada. I would be lying if I said I was able to think about anything else at this point. It will have been 555 days since I was last in Canada and I got to see my family. When I first committed to another two years on board the Africa Mercy, I figured I would be fine waiting until the summer to go home (I’m not exactly the homesick type), so I didn’t go home at Christmas. I hadn’t really factored in the possibility of Advance and how that would stretch my time away. It’s been hard to be away for so long, to miss so much. I’d like to say that if I could do it over, I would go home sooner, but the truth is, God has been at work in every one of those 555 days, everything has been in His perfect timing. Everything He has done over the last year and half, has led up to this point, this moment where I am itching to go, I absolutely cannot wait. 

I've talked at length about my journey to becoming more vulnerable. It took me leaving for an extended period of time, it took distance from the comfort of home, for me to be able to look back and see all the things that shaped me and led me to build walls. It took God convincing me that this was important, that to truly love people I had to be open and vulnerable and risk getting hurt. It took Him putting various people in my path, people to love me unconditionally, to mentor me, to push my physical boundaries, hugging and cuddling me, to challenge who I thought I was, to walk with me through that journey. And I've still got a long way to go.

Can't believe I get to see these guys in less than two weeks!

I’m reminded of that song, ‘Desert Song’, which describes praising God in every type of circumstance. I think I’ve experienced a bit of each of those seasons (harvest, battle, desert) over the last 555 days. I would say Onboarding was a season of Harvest, gathering up all the things God had to teach me and show me, every single day. The end of Benin was also a season of Harvest, with the strongest friendships I’d ever formed, every day a blessing with laughter and service. Advance was a Battle, one where we lifted up problems big and small to Him and got to see Him move in amazing ways. The first few months of this field service have been more like the Desert, feeling empty and far away from God, far too focused on work instead of people, making no progress, facing seemingly impossible challenges everyday. And so in every circumstance, ‘I will bring praise’. 

And it’s not just what He’s done in my life with me being here. It’s the way He’s worked at home, in the life of my family. The last few weeks have brought lots of rejoicing: close friends getting engaged, others about to have their first baby, friends about to head back to the mission field, others returning to the Ship, so many blessings. When I get home, I can’t wait to see even more examples of how God has been at work while I’ve been away!

Kirsten and I decided we needed our own 'couple' picture ;)

Last weekend, I was blessed to be able to spend a few days at the beach with friends, away from the Ship. It was the first real rest I’d had in a while. I was thankful for the amazing people I was with and realized how my relationship with each of them had grown, where I felt comfortable just being as is, I didn’t feel like I had to try. I was reminded once again that relationships take time and work. I was able to spend a lot of quiet time with God, rediscovering what I’m passionate about, being reminded of the goals He has set for me, getting some direction for what’s next.  I was also reminded to trust my impulse, that gut instinct, the nudge God gives me to do things. It’s almost always a way to bless someone else. Lately, I’ve been talking myself out of following up on those things or waiting too long to do them. I’m sure God blessed those people in other ways, but I’m missing out on being part of that. He’s giving me opportunities to be a part of blessing others, to practice that servant heart. 

And so as I write this in anticipation of going home, I’ve already started listening to Christmas music (it’s December already!). We have one big classic in my house – Celine Dion’s Christmas album. I can’t help but be convicted every time I hear her song ‘Don’t Save It All For Christmas Day’.

So don’t save it all for Christmas Day,

Find a way to give a little love every day,

Don’t save it all for Christmas Day,

Find your way, ‘cause holidays have come and gone

But love lives on, if you give on

Love

And just for all the people like Caitlyn, Kat, Anna, Rose and Shawn, in my life: How could you wait another minute, a hug is warmer when you’re in it. 

In summary, I’m incredibly thankful. Thankful for all God has done in those 555 days. Thankful for all the amazing people I’ve met. Thankful that I have the means to go home (and come back). Thankful that I have a home to go home to. Thankful for all the people who’ve supported me so far in this journey. Thankful that this journey isn’t over, that I get to walk with God every single day for the rest of my life. See you all soon! 

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ 1 Chronicles 16:34

I will definitely miss these two beauties! Mariama and Salamatou now have their casts off and will be heading home soon too.