The End

The village of Tejeda in Gran Canaria.

Well I’ve reached the end of my Mercy Ships adventure – at least for now! It’s been an unbelievable experience and I’m so thankful for everything that God has taught me and brought me through. When I last wrote, we were about to arrive in Las Palmas – we did arrive and everything went well. We were very excited to get off the Ship and explore. The next few days were spent wandering the board walk, swimming in the ocean, trying out different restaurants, lots of walking (it takes about an hour to get from the Ship to the beach), and once again, many goodbyes. I commented to someone that the nice thing about sailing is that no one can leave! At soon as we arrived, lots and lots of people started to leave. There was also lots of packing and cleaning and handover to do. Las Palmas is absolutely beautiful and it was wonderful to get to spend time just watching the sunset and exploring.

Random encounters.

Now I have to leave lots of room to talk about one of my favourite days ever. On the Saturday, Kees and I rented a two person convertible (a 124 Fiat Spider) and explored the island. Driving this car was THE BEST. When it’s sunny and beautiful, driving and basically being outside is so sweet. When we first picked up the car, I said I wanted to drive first and he asked if I was sure. I said YES! Well, I may have stalled it a few times as I got the hang of the clutch… but it was so fun to drive. We were laughing the whole time (well at least I was). We followed the road around the island and at one point we randomly stopped somewhere to get breakfast. We wandered into this café and of course, he knew of Mercy Ships! He pulled out some pictures of Mercy Shippers who had visited before and we recognized some of them. What are the odds eh? 

Our sweet ride :)

We followed the road all the way to the end and spent some time in a quaint little town, swimming in the ocean, before heading off to see the sand dunes in Maspalomas. Someone (not me), suggested that we take our shoes off to not get sand in them. Terrible idea, it was SO hot! After that we headed up the mountains in the middle of the island, with the most breath-taking drive. Long winding roads and beautiful views. I was glad I wasn’t driving so I could look at everything! We found the tallest point on the island and then headed to the small town for dinner. That day happened to be the ‘Canada Day’ equivalent for Gran Canaria so they had all sorts of things going on. Some sort of love night celebration is what it sounded like. At a certain time, all the couples would go to the church square and see who could kiss for the longest. It sounded pretty funny to me! Afterwards we headed back to town and returned the car (L) and then went over to the boardwalk where we saw what looked like every person in Las Palmas on the beach. I’ve never seen so many people on the beach at midnight! They were celebrating. And we got to watch the fireworks go off before having to rush back to the Ship for curfew. Overall, a pretty amazing end to my time in Las Palmas! 

After some more hard goodbyes, I left the Ship for the final time on Monday. Rose, Caleb and I headed to Barcelona where we spent a day wandering around, exploring and trying new food (they made me). We saw an old Roman wall, a very old church, and got a tour of a Catamaran that was for sale and was involved in some sort of Arctic expedition (amongst other things). And then it was another goodbye and I was off to Madrid. I took the train so that I could see some of the country and it did not disappoint! And then suddenly, I had just over 60 hours in Madrid by myself. It certainly gave me a lot of time to think. I spent both days walking around – Madrid has an amazing amount of green space and parks so I spent time exploring those and also time sitting in the elaborate plazas and watching people go by. I took a funicular thing and got a birds eye view; found a river that was more like a swamp; checked out a random free art museum (I didn’t understand the art); saw an Egyptian temple thing (it was closed); and just wandered around. At one point I came across a Tim Hortons in the commercial sector and almost started crying. It made me realize how happy I am to be Canadian and how much I love what we stand for and how excited I was to be home.

There was definitely some culture shock happening. Whenever I would stop to eat, the servers were very brusque, never seemed happy and always rushed me. I think I’m still half on African time. It’s very strange to go from a place where you know everyone – the person who serves you meals, the banker, the person at the store, the teachers and families, the HR people, the mechanic, the person who serves you coffee, the electrician, the person who drives the shuttle, the nurse, the dentist, every single person. And you know their stories. To go from that, to a place where you don’t know anyone and don’t speak the language. It was quite jarring. By the end, I was very happy to be heading home!

Reunited with these two beauties!

And then, after a very long day of travel – I was home! It was great to see my family and they organized a celebration to welcome me back (my cousin even made me an early birthday cake J). It took a whole 3 days before I had my job back and started work again (so much for resting haha). In a lot of ways, being home has felt like going back in time – living with my family, going back to the same job. I’ve heard people say after they left the Ship that it all felt like a dream, and I understand that now. I won’t sugar coat it - I’ve been sick for the last week and struggling with jet lag (who doesn’t love to wake up at 4:30am every day?) and there has definitely been a whole range of emotions to deal with. BUT this is where the best part comes in. That we serve a God who is SO good and is always with us. 

All that time I had to think in Madrid? Well God had a very clear word for me. I happened to come across this song on my phone that I hadn’t heard before (which is crazy to me because I had a temporary phone and only had a handful of albums downloaded on it). It’s called Evidence by Elevation Worship. There is someone who is talking through a large portion of it and he is talking about how the church needs to move, how we need to move. He says it’s time to move from here to there. From death to life. From darkness to light. From defeat to victory. From shame to grace. From fear to faith. From sorrow to joy. And then he says this: From dread to expectation. And that hit me so hard. It was time for me to move from dreading/fearing this change and all that would come with it, and move to an attitude of expectation. Of expecting God to work in this new season. Of saying, okay God, what do you have for me? Being expectant and excited to see what He will do! Boy, did I ever need that shift in perspective. And so, each day, no matter how I’m feeling, I come back to that – expectation. Okay God, what are you going to do today? Where can I join in? And He never disappoints :)

I’m so thankful for every single person who has been a part of my journey with Mercy Ships. The 8 part National Geographic series that we filmed in Benin is now available online in the U.S. for those who want to see more: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/tv/surgery-ship/ (hopefully it will be available in Canada at some point). This is the last blog I will post as part of my Mercy Ships Experience, but I may post more updates in a different blog later. I can’t say thank you enough for all the prayer, love and support I’ve experienced over the last 2.5 years. Thank you!

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Sailing the Atlantic

The view from the stern of the Ship.

We’ve spent 12 of the last 15 days sailing the Atlantic Ocean. Sailing is an incredible experience. Every day you wake up and look outside and are surrounded by ocean all around, as far as the eye can see. The ocean is an unbelievable shade of blue, the waves gently rock the ship and you’re reminded of just how majestic and vast God is and how small you are. There are dolphins and flying fish and whales to be seen and hammocks to rock in. The nights are spent lying on the top deck looking at all the stars, marveling at the fact that God created each one and knows them by name, the same as with us. It’s a period of much needed rest and relaxation after a long field service.

We successfully escaped from the Escape Room!

So here you are, on a Ship with the same 250 or so people, for almost two weeks. How do we spend our time? We spend it watching Ship related movies (Poseidon, Titanic, Pirates of the Caribbean), having dance parties in reception (because we don’t have to be quiet!), having mocktails with the Captain where everyone got dressed up in their finest clothes, playing board games, making Dutch pancakes (basically crepes), having a trivia night, crossing the equator at 0,0 and becoming Diamond Shellbacks, doing some karaoke, having worship on the bow, escaping from a really cool escape room that some people on the Ship created (although when you escape, you’re still trapped on the Ship), reading in the hammock, and more. Some crew members have worked very hard to keep us all entertained. However, for those who know me well, you know I am terrible at resting. So when we arrived in Dakar for our stopover, I was ready.

The President signing our guests book as our CEO looks on.

Late last year, Mercy Ships signed a protocol with Senegal, to come serve from August 2019-June 2020. In the meantime, the President asked if we would stop by so he could come visit the Ship. So we did. We arrived in Dakar, Senegal on the Tuesday and spent the day preparing for the upcoming visits. On Wednesday, we hosted a group of 32 local media, gave them some information about Mercy Ships and a tour. They were only an hour and a half late, no problem. Thursday was the big day – a visit from the President. I wish I could properly explain everything that goes on behind the scenes for something like this. I was given this assignment more than 3 months ago and have spent countless hours sending emails and in meetings, preparing for something where we had very little information.

Shawn took this as I was running up and
down the gangway before the President
arrived - the look says it all!

When the protocol officer came on Wednesday afternoon, we finally had an idea of what the day would look like, but even that is always subject to change. We have to be prepared for all contingencies. Everyone runs around as chairs are moved and speeches are translated and flowers are ordered and the program is changed and the presidential toilet is selected (I’m serious) and tour guides are prepped. In the end, the President came, had a tour, watched some videos, heard some speeches and gave some remarks of his own. From our perspective, everything went well – thanks to the amazing team we had. There were about 6 of us working all in on this visit and it made such a difference to organize this with a group of such excellent people. In his remarks, the President said that one of his biggest take aways from visiting the Ship was seeing the importance of having people who are willing to sacrificially serve others – just like our crew, who gives up what they have at home and come from all over the world to serve other people. Our hope is that this visit will strengthen our relationship with the Government of Senegal as our teams come to do further assessments in country to prepare for our upcoming field service. 

Even though there was lots of work to do, I’m thankful that I still had the opportunity to get off the Ship and see a bit of Dakar! On the first night, a small group of us walked about an hour and found a beautiful beach with absolutely no people around. I swam in the ocean, we explored the beach, had a few beer and (over)paid someone to get us pizza. We then wandered into town and found a place to have dessert. I think one of the nicest things was getting to interact with different people (not just Mercy Shippers). The second night we went to this really neat mariners bar (which was full of Mercy Shippers), where it was beautifully decorated and the waiters were dressed like officers. The bar extended out into the ocean (lots of jellyfish) and served delicious desserts! After that we went to check out a lighthouse, where I once again played translator as the guide explained to us the modernization of the lighthouse and how it functioned. We wandered through that part of town, admiring a giant African renaissance monument that had a cool street park at its base with lots of kids playing on rollerblades and playing football. We ended up a billiards bar and played some pool before heading back to the Ship. Dakar is actually quite developed (at least where we were), with great roads and good infrastructure in general. There seems to be a decent amount of public spaces and beaches, and lots of expats. Apparently they just discovered a large offshore deposit of oil and it’s been interesting to hear how they are trying to make sure to steward the resources well to help the country continue to develop further, including trying to develop universal health care. I look forward to seeing what small part Mercy Ships can play in that. 

And then we were off again! God has continued to bless us with smooth sailing and we will arrive in Las Palmas soon. While I’m excited to come home, that still seems so far away. I have two more mini seasons until then – a week of exploring in Las Palmas, and just under a week wandering through Barcelona and Madrid. I’m looking forward to a few days where I’m fully done Mercy Ships but not yet home to start the next season. A few days of just being, being in His presence, not having anything to do or anywhere to go. For all I joke about not resting well, I am incredibly thankful to God for the last few weeks. He has blessed me more than I could have imagined, and I truly feel spoiled. In less than two weeks, I will be back in Canada – what a journey it has been!

 Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. ~2 Corinthians 3:4-5

For the Mocktails with Captain event, everyone dressed their best and got to take a picture with the Captain :)

Saying Goodbye to Cameroon

Getting the cars ready for the sail!

Exactly 1 year and 6 days ago, I first arrived in Cameroon. It’s hard to believe all that has happened, all the adventures, laughter, mistakes made, lessons learned, friendships created. All the people I am closest with now, I hadn’t even met them yet. The person I was then, isn’t the person I am now. Looking back and seeing all the things God brought me through is incredible. It certainly wasn’t an easy year but I was blessed to do it alongside some amazing people, to be pushed and challenged to pursue God even when it was a desert season, to learn to heal from long ago hurts, to experience new ones and get back up anyway. And while I may be ready to leave Cameroon, I’m not sure I’m ready to leave Mercy Ships. I have 25 days left on this wonderful Ship. 25 days to be present and intentional and to pour out as much love as I possibly can. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly excited for this next season. I’m excited to be home and part of my family’s everyday life, to learn new things, to see what God has next for me. But I’m also mourning the loss of this place, a safe place to learn and grow, a place to see Godly families and relationships modeled, a place where I am known, a place where almost every day I can see the tangible ways we are changing lives. I think this is the inevitable struggle of transitioning from something amazing and wonderful and good to something that will also be amazing and wonderful and good.

These are some of the amazing men who keep us safe.

I have definitely been struggling and the countless goodbyes haven’t made it any easier. Imagine if your whole town or church left inside a two or three week period…that’s kind of what the last few weeks have felt like. The goodbyes are coming fast and furious now and it’s been rough. Bosses, spiritual leaders, friends, community leaders, acquaintances…everyone has an impact on you. This is my first time fully finishing off a field service (I left early in Mada to do onboarding, and in Benin I left for Advance), and I’m so glad I haven’t had to experience this every year. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know how people do this every field service, over and over. This is absolutely stretching my newly learned vulnerability. How do you not put all your walls up and shut the world out when there are so many emotions and feelings tied up in seeing people leave? 

Before Michele left, we went for one final Comms team dinner and as we sat there, I looked around the table and realized that every single one of these people would be on the Ship next year. Except me. Wow. What a change from previous years. In Mada, I was the only one to still be there. In Benin, everyone left except myself, Michele and Tammy. And now everyone was staying and I was leaving. It’s the same with my group of friends – last year they all left, and I was the only one to stay. This year was a complete reset in terms of friendships. And this year, they are all staying. What a reversal. And yet, I still have absolutely no doubt that God is calling me home. Both our new Media Liaisons have been chosen and we’ve had the opportunity to train one of them over the last two months, so I know the job is well taken care of. God provided exactly who we needed to fill these roles and for that I am so thankful.

So other than all these goodbyes what have we been up to? Well we packed up our hospital and the dock, and we’ve been prepping for sail. The Ship leaves this weekend. We’ve been doing a lot of ‘lasts’: last time going to karaoke, last time going to the Indian place, last time at my favourite schwarma place, last time hosting local media (woo!), last time living in my 4 berth cabin (I moved into a single cabin!). That actually affected me more than I thought, saying goodbye to the bed that had been my home for the last two years.

Our Crater Lake group :)

We also had some new experiences. We had a big celebration for our Day Crew, to thank them for their all their hardwork and dedication. Of course, it turned into a big dance party until we said our final goodbyes on the dock. We also went on one final adventure – the crater lakes! This is a beautiful area with two large lakes created by volcanic craters. One of the lakes is sacred and only the village chief can swim in it (or something like that); but the other lake was fair game and it was delightfully cold! The whole hike was 9 hours, with about 2 hours’ worth of breaks; 18 miles and 453 flights of stairs. It was a majestic view, but I spent most of the time looking at the feet of the person in front of me. Rose and I had lots of laughs (mostly) bringing up the rear, as we focused on putting one foot in front of the other. On the way there we reached a part where you went almost straight down…climbing up on the way back was insane. We weren't quite sure we would make it! But we had nice friends who walked with us and set a manageable pace and talked to us to distract us and just encouraged us in general. We reached a small school building and I thought we were almost there, so I asked the guide how much longer? He said, 2 hours. My face dropped. That was a rough two hours. After that, every time I asked him, how long? He said it depended on how slow we walked…And to make our descent even more pleasant, it started pouring rain and everything turned into a mudslide. Thankfully, only Rose got to see me wipe out/lose my footing dozens of times. It’s a good thing that before we started, I told her I was sure-footed like a goat. Overall, it was quite an adventure and I’m thankful I got to do it with such remarkable people. The following day we went to visit the Ekom waterfall, although some of us (ie. me), could barely make it up and down the stairs. 

What a beautiful hike! PC: Kate Pitchford 

As soon as we arrived back to the Ship, it started… one by one we started to get very sick. I was first and was quickly followed by some others. Everyone else in the group was nervous, waiting to see who else would get sick. Apparently married couples are immune to whatever parasite/virus/illness we had. While being that sick was definitely no fun, I actually felt so loved through all of it because we were so well taken care of. Kate and a few other people brought us ginger ale and water and toast throughout the evening and the next day. I woke up and there was a bottle of Gatorade outside of my door. I was overwhelmed with gratefulness for this place and the servant hearted people who call it home. It was like having 5 moms J But thankfully we are all better now and ready to sail!

I know I sound very melancholy, but it’s only because I’ve been blessed to love and be loved well in this place, and I know I will miss that. But writing it all out and acknowledging the feelings is helpful, and at the end of the day I always rejoice, because our God is good and His ways are better than my ways. I would love your prayers for joy and peace during this time of transition, and for your grace with me as I deal with the mixed emotions of grieving the loss of this place but also being excited for home.

Give praise to the LORD, proclaim His name;

Make known among the nations what He has done.

Sing to Him, sing praise to Him;

tell of all His wonderful acts.

Glory in His Holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

Look to the LORD and His strength;

seek His face always.

~Psalm 105:1-4

These two beauties both got orthopaedic surgery to correct their bowed legs and now they can both run freely. Mariama &
Salamatou live right near the Crater Lakes where we were. This iconic shot was taken by the one and only Shawn Thompson ;)

Three Joubarnes in Cameroon

Limbe. PC: The one and only Caleb Brumley.

A few weeks ago I learned that I had a twin…okay, I’m just kidding. But I was incredibly blessed to have my mom and sister come visit me here in Cameroon, and many people thought my sister and I were twins. Some people even thought it was me and that I had gotten my hair cut. I thought it was pretty hilarious. So what was it like to host my mom and sister onboard the Africa Mercy? Well, it was a bit like two worlds colliding. My mom visited me in Madagascar but hadn’t stayed on the Ship because I was short term. This time, they both got to stay onboard in one of our lovely guest cabins with an ‘ocean view’. They got to experience a 6 am fire drill, overhead announcements, the Ship rocking, the constant presence of others whose names you can’t quite remember, every Day Crew greeting us, waffle Friday, the hassle of coming and going from the Ship, curfew, sharing cars, not having grass to play on, Ship food, and so much more. Like the Media Liaison that I am, I had a whole schedule prepared and printed out for them (my friends thought this was hilarious). But hey, hosting is something I know how to do!

Mom and Jess visiting me in Cameroon!

They got the full Hospital Experience Tour, including the OR (led by yours truly), and I took them to all the offsite locations. They also got to see the chimps, eat at my favourite places (Indian and schwarma), attend a lively Bible study, worship with us, meet all of my favourite people onboard, sing karaoke (Jess and I rapped some Drake) and participate in some movie nights and pool/dance parties. We even played rugby on the dock with the Captain and his boys. Instead of our normal Community Meeting, we had a joint celebration on the dock with Day Crew, which of course turned into a big dance party as well. We heard some testimonies, from a patient, from a crew member and from a Day Crew. The Day Crew shared that he never knew what a fistula was until he started translating some documents for our MCB team. Then at one point in the field service, he saw one of his family members onboard the Ship (his cousin I think). He asked her what she was doing there and she replied that she was a fistula patient. He couldn’t believe it. He had no idea that she suffered from this. No one in his family knew. He was so convicted by this that he and a few other Day Crew started an organization to help women with fistulas and to bring more awareness to the issue. What a story! 

I also brought my mom and sister to a local African church. Interestingly, the pastor was threatening to dump water on people if they fell asleep. He also invited up a couple who had gotten married the day before and asked them how the previous night had been. The man was very eloquent and said, the night was very long and very short. The pastor kept pressing him so he then said, the room was filled with honey. Even that wasn’t enough, because the pastor kept asking. He then had them kiss while the whole church cheered and took photos. It was a very strange experience and we laughed a lot.

My hair is always a source of amusement.

Their time onboard was pretty quick, especially considering that I whisked them off to Yaounde so that we could visit Edith and Valerie. You’ve heard me talk about both of these beautiful ladies at length. They have been a big part of my time here in Cameroon. I had planned on hiking the crater lakes with my mom and sister, but that was off limits due to some security issues. I am so thankful for God and His timing in this, because I think it was so important that I bring my mom and sister to visit this lovely family. We traveled with one of my Cameroonian friends (who will soon be coming to Canada for school!) and arrived at their home in the late afternoon. We only stayed for a couple of hours but it was so lovely to talk with them, play many games with the kids, and have no agenda other than being with them. I am always reminded of how similar we all are, and that we don’t necessarily needs words to communicate, but can do so with laughter and silliness. It was my fourth and final time to visit them, which made for a difficult goodbye. I’m so thankful to have been a small part of their journey and for all that they have taught me. 

That's me lying in the surf. And you wonder how I get
so sunburned...

Then it was time to say goodbye to mom and Jess and go back to work. But first, a day trip to Limbe (it had been off limits for a while) which was incredibly refreshing! Hosting my mom and sister hadn’t exactly been restful (we packed in a lot), but I know it was quite an experience for them, and selfishly, I know it will be so helpful for me when I'm adjusting to being home. They will know who I’m talking about and have more context for my stories and the things I miss. I am so thankful that they were willing to travel all this way to come and see me. I am also very grateful to my friends who took the time to get to know my mom and sister and do stuff with us, just because they knew it was important to me. There are some very special people on this Ship! But back to Limbe – this place has been refreshing for my body, spirit and mind, all field service. I ended up falling asleep for quite a while after a few hours of playing in the sun (and also came back very, very sunburnt…). 

Interviewing Trésor and his Mama with BBC.

And then it was time to host our very last team of the field service. That’s right, as of this writing, we have hosted our last team. I have hosted my very last team, maybe ever. Wow, what a thought. This final team was a media team from BBC West Africa and I was reminded of what a blessing this job has been. I get to hear amazing stories from our crew, Day Crew and patients. We interviewed a nurse who had grown up in Niger with missionary patients and spoke some of the local languages which allowed her to better communicate with some of our patients, and was so cool! Another nurse we interviewed had grown up in Cameroon, moved to the States at 16, become a nurse, and now come back to serve her own people through Mercy Ships. I just can’t help marvel at the amazing way that God works in peoples’ lives. We went on a short home visit to go see Trésor, a joyful 4 year old boy who had double cataract surgery onboard the Ship. His mama Larissa had quite a story to tell (I don’t want to scoop the Comms team on this so I won’t say too much just yet).  At the end, she said something very powerful. She said that there was no gift so precious as the gift of a life, especially a child’s life. She said that someone could give her new shoes or clothes but that eventually those things would rot away. Now, every time she looked at Trésor, until she died, she would be reminded of what Mercy Ships (and God) has done in her life. Wow, what a testimony. I could go on and on about the stories that I’ve heard lately, but I’ll leave it there for now.

Our matching fabric for the wedding.

Of course, it’s not just work that goes on here. Some friends talked me into coming for a massage and pedicure (Rose, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!). It was quite an experience and for me turned into quite a gigglefest since I’m basically ticklish everywhere. But hey, the massage lady (Nadia) and I were good friends by the end of it. One evening turned into quite an outing as it took us about two hours to get to our location (that may have been partly my fault). Our location was a Bowling fun center and once we arrived we had a blast! Kate and I even danced on a DDR machine (she’s a beast). It was an evening of laughter and bonding. Yesterday, some of us were blessed to be invited to the wedding of one of our Dental Day Crew, Solange. Apparently when you attend a wedding here, everyone is expected to get outfits made from matching fabric which is picked out for you. Our fabric was quite ‘lovely’ as you can see. The church part of the wedding was fairly traditional (although no kissing of the bride). The only big difference was that if you were sitting, you couldn’t see anything because everyone was right up in the face of the bride and groom, taking pictures of everything. It was pretty hilarious. Later that evening there was a reception, but we only got to experience a small part of it, considering the bride and groom only appeared at 10:15pm and we have curfew. Apparently these parties last until 3 or 4 in the morning! 

Our 'Oscars' - all of the bronze statues received from the MoH.

Two more quick things that I have to share (yes, yes, I know, I have a lot to say). The first thing is that the goodbyes are coming fast and furious now. A piece of my heart left this week as I said goodbye to the Silva family. They have been my Ship family and I don’t know how I would have done this without them. However, I’m fairly certain that this was more like a, see you later, than a goodbye. The second thing, is that we had our Thank You Reception last week to thank all of our partners (I had the honour of being the MC). The Minister of Health came up and after speaking, he started to present some bronze statues to our Managing Director and Government Liaison. But the neat thing is that after those two, he kept going. He had another 12 or so statues to give out to various Crew members, not necessarily all members of leadership. It was really great to see the surprise on their faces! Typically it is only head management that is honoured by the government and it was really nice to see that they went out of their way to thank many others as well, including people who mainly work behind the scenes. I loved that. 

Okay, I’m done rambling (for now!). God is good and He is here.

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ~ Romans 3:22-24

A family photo with Valerie, Edith and their whole family.

Reckless Love & Square Dancing

One of our Swedish guests brought some stuffed toys for the
patients. I love the colour in this picture and the look
on her face! PC: Saul Loubassa

A few weeks ago, I hosted a joint Vision Trip from Sweden and Norway, which included some teenagers from a Maritime school we have partnered with and someone from Stena Line, the organization that is helping us to build the new Ship. Then I did something unusual. Instead of dropping them off at the airport and returning to the Ship, I got on the same flight as them. I was embarking on my own trip ‘home’. And what a trip it was. But before I tell you a bit about my speed visit to Ottawa/Toronto/Fort Wayne, I want to bring it back to what is most important – Christ. One of the things that has been on my mind in relation to living in Ottawa again is wondering where I will go to church. So on the one Sunday I was home, I went to check out a church with my friends. To end the service they sang I hadn’t heard before. It was called Reckless Love. Before singing it, the worship leader read from a post that the singer, Cory Ashbury, wrote to explain what he meant by reckless, a word that our culture would view as mostly negative. This is part of what he said: When I use the phrase, “the reckless love of God”, I’m not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn’t crafty or slick. It’s not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it’s quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn’t consider Himself first. His love isn’t selfish or self-serving. He doesn’t wonder what He’ll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return. 

Tyler and Breanna during their first dance.

Great, some food for thought. And then, a few days later, I was in the truck with Tyler on the way back from work and the radio was playing in the background. Tyler said, hey have you heard this song? It’s going to be our wedding song. Or maybe he said that it was going to be played at the wedding. I don’t remember because I was too busy trying to figure out what song it was. Where had I heard this before…Oh yeah, that Sunday at church! Interesting. And then, during the wedding celebration, that moment came where they asked the couple to come for their first dance. And what song had they chosen? Reckless love. I got the hint. I proceeded to download the song and have had it on repeat since then. What a reminder of the lengths that Jesus goes to get us. I can sometimes walk the line between bold and reckless, but whenever I dive in head first and someone says that it's reckless, I never think of it as rash, thoughtless or irresponsible. Rather, I think of it as doing something with abandon, without restraint. What a model of how to love others. Without restraint, without thought for the consequences, with abandon. “Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. Oh, it chases me down, fights ‘til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine. I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away”. I needed that reminder in this season. I probably need that reminder every day.

When your cousins get old enough (and smart enough) to
beat you at board games... :)

Okay so home! I had an evening with my parents filled with the best things: browsing the bookstore, making Indian food, watching a movie that prompted some interesting discussions (Race). I mean what’s a visit home without an intense disagreement with my dad about immigration and politics in general? Then it was off to check out a new church, lunch with friends, checking out a potential new apartment with my sister, getting my old job back, games and laughter with my cousins and grandma. Then I whisked my sister straight from class to head to Toronto where we checked in on some people, had some good but difficult conversations and said a goodbye. Then it was off to Indiana. 

Jess and I showed up 4 days before Tyler’s wedding and I am so thankful for that time. Even though people say that the U.S. is very similar to Canada, I always experience some culture shock. Maybe it’s just the difference between living in a small town versus living on farm land. We got to help feed the chickens and cows (one was huge and about to have a calf). I was introduced to their pig and told that it was being raised for a hog roast for another wedding. We got to live out a country song and drive a big green tractor (Jason Aldean). At one point, Tyler’s mom announced that we would be having sloppy joe’s for dinner and Jess responded with a lot of enthusiasm. I gave her a strange look but said nothing. Maybe she’d had sloppy joes in the time I’d been gone? Because we certainly never ate that growing up. When dinner time rolled around I had to ask for an explanation because I didn’t quite understand how the meal worked (there was also corn casserole?), and they were surprised to find out I had never had sloppy joes. How come Jess has had some? We turned to look at her. Oh no, I’ve never had it, I've just heard of it in movies, she responded. We laughed so hard. I got to spend one day going to work with Tyler which involved putting in earplugs and cutting concrete for about 10 hours (I just held the hose and turned the water on and off). They did let me drive the skidloader though which was slightly terrifying but also super fun. We had an evening of bonfire and beer, played basketball with the boys, had family dinners and helped with wedding stuff (I’m now a professional napkin folder).

Jess & I in borrowed outfits, ready for
the rehearsal dinner.

Upon arriving in Indiana we were informed that we had been invited to the rehearsal dinner, which was incredibly kind of them (and something we were unprepared for – thanks for the dress Breanna!). It also meant I had to keep my end of a promise I made to Tyler a long time ago, that I would read his first email to Breanna, out loud during the rehearsal dinner. They asked me to start off the speeches and I proceeded to read this email which is Tyler bluntly laying out how their penpal relationship was going to work. It’s hilarious. I was able to share a perspective of their relationship that others hadn’t heard or seen since Tyler was on the Ship for most of the ‘courting’, and realized what an amazing season that was and how thankful I was to have that time. After all, life changes, we grow, distance makes relationships different, and it’s so important to cherish every moment we are currently in. After the dinner we were invited to his best man’s house and it was like they had never met a Canadian before. They spent two hilarious hours making a list of why Canada sucks, most of which was false, although some hit a little too close to home – our women’s hockey team (they lost the U.S. in the Olympics…). After hearing so much about all of these people, it was great to finally meet them. 

Our lovely Mercy Ships table + Jess (and baby Dahlia).

THE WEDDING. On the big day, all the groomsmen came over to the Shroyer household for breakfast and by the sheer fact that everyone was in the wedding and needed to do stuff to get ready (and I was doing nothing), I had the absolute privilege of driving Tyler to the church. I had never been to a Christian wedding and I’ll be honest, I cried for most of it. To see the way he looked at his bride, to think about how Christ looks at us, His bride, to see the love of Christ so evident in the room, it was overwhelming. I was also filled with such joy for them, for all God had done to bring them together, for the way they glorified Him in everything. The wedding also provided the opportunity for a mini – Mercy Ships reunion and it was so nice to see some people I hadn’t seen in a while (we were all at the same table, of course). We were also the last ones dancing, after everyone else had stopped, because we are that awesome. 

Now I have to bring up a very cultural experience I had regarding dancing. Specifically, square dancing. It turns out, it’s actually SO MUCH FUN. It’s very inclusive (everyone gets a turn to do every move) and not too difficult to learn. In thinking on the experience, I couldn’t help but compare it to my experience following Christ. I wasn’t exactly eager to try, and gave the excuse that I didn’t know what I was doing, but my excuses were all overcome and I reluctantly agreed. I had a partner who knew exactly what he was doing (Tyler’s dad) and was able to lead me even though I was so lost. Once I kind of figured it out, I couldn’t stop laughing and was filled with so much joy. As we went along, people started adding more spins and complexities. Later on, we did another square dance and this time I had a partner who had never danced before. I found myself trying to lead him/explain something that I only had a semi-grasp on. We still needed one of the other pairs in the square to lead us by example. It made me think of how in the beginning of my walk with Christ I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting myself into but He overcame all my objections, took the lead even though I had no idea what to do or how to follow him, and following Him became something filled with joy. As I followed him, I learned more and things got more complex, there were more challenges, but still He was in the lead. Then there came a point when He stepped back and I was called to lead another in the beginnings of their walk with Him. At the same time, I was able to look to others who had been walking with Him longer, for guidance and was able to follow their example. This is not to say Jesus is far away – He is nearby, smiling as He watches us walk out what He has shown us, ready to catch us if we fall.

Warrie and I with the 'Swiss Mafia' - Val & Sandrine ;)

Coming back to the Ship was interesting as I jumped straight into hosting a team from the UK, struggled with jetlag and waited a week to receive my luggage. But none of that really mattered. I realized how blessed I am to have such a wide variety of relationships and friendships aboard the Ship. The last week has been filled with long-term goodbyes, a volleyball tournament, a dance party, birthday celebrations with Frisbee and dinner and movies and brownies and laughter, a visit from several ministers and the Prime Ministers’ representative, engaging Bible studies, family meals, lightning storms, and a Ship full of people with hearts ready to serve Him. What’s next? A visit from my mom and sister!

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ~ Philippians 2:1-2

Our amazing Ponseti team with the patients they treated in the second half of the field service - after our Ponseti Celebration!

Be Kind to Yourself

Most of our lovely Canadian crew.

The last couple weeks on the Ship I saw that several people were reading a book called Looming Transitions. Apparently it’s good to start planning your transition a couple of months in advance. So I figured I would go get a copy from the Chaplains and see what it had to say. Let me say, I’m glad that the first chapter was about being kind to yourself (at least that’s what I got out of it). It talks about the tension that comes from being in a place and that reality continuing, but knowing you are leaving and starting a new reality. For me it’s the balance between: the Ship getting ready to send the Advance team to Guinea (and being in the middle of that because I’m doing HR handover), winding down Cameroon, sending Assessment teams to Senegal, helping to hire new Media Liaisons for Guinea (and starting to train them, leave handover material, etc.), watching the calendar fill up with teams and media for next year, hearing the talk about the new Ship; and knowing I’m going home, thinking about where to live, where to work, finding a church, what I want to do. I know the reality that I’m approaching, but I can’t be fully in that reality yet because I’m still here for another three months and want to do that well. I’ve only just started the book but hopefully it has some good suggestions for managing that tension. In the meantime I will keep telling myself: be kind to yourself. There’s a lot of emotions and internal chaos happening right now, and that’s okay.

Jared smiling painfully after I made fun of him
and he had no come back (PC: Kat Sotolongo)

As usual, I spent some of the last few weeks hosting, in particular a large Belgian whirlwind of a trip which involved over 170 Belgians coming onboard, 10 Vision Trip guests, 3 large onboard events, and the final Ruben visit of the year. In non-work related activities, I got to do some role play and lead a team of ‘intruders’ in taking the Ship hostage as part of a security drill; I helped lead Comms Karaoke and rapped some Missy Elliott; I got to host our Global Community Gathering (where we ‘gather’ with our National Offices) with my buddy Jared and got some good laughs out of everyone; I attended two Celebration of Sights in one day (one for adults and one for kids) and the Eye team Day Crew decided that I was around enough that I was now an honorary member of their choir; and I got to attend an off ship dinner with the majority of our Canadian crew members, where I was reminded of how diverse our country is. 

Beach day with these ladies.

Some of you might remember my friend Anna who was here last year – she came back for a few weeks to help out at the HOPE Center. It’s been fun to have her around, even if it’s only for a short period of time. I got to take her and a group of others to Limbe where we frolicked (yes, that’s right, frolicked) in the sand, relaxed and got very sunburnt. I introduced them to the delicious gas station coffee that is Nescafe 3-in-1. We sang loudly to country music. We went for a walk down the beach and discovered this hotel that had made an area that captured the fresh water flowing down Mount Cameroon and you could swim in it – it was SO cold, but incredibly refreshing. I spent an evening with her at the Team House baking delicious chocolate chip cookies and singing to Disney music (you can see that we do a lot of singing). Funny enough, we both fly out next Friday and will be seeing each other again at Tyler’s wedding. I’ll be back in North America for a whirlwind week to celebrate my friend’s wedding, and spend some quality time with my sister. 

I’ve mentioned many times how God has been stretching me to be more vulnerable and what that’s looked like. Last time, I shared about all the positive things that have come from that, the ways I was pleasantly surprised. Recently, I had a bit of a different experience, where me trying to be vulnerable ended with me flat on my face. But this isn’t necessarily a ‘negative’ experience. It’s a necessary one. Time to read Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong. In Daring Greatly she explains how to be more open and vulnerable (and why it’s worth it); in Rising Strong she starts by explaining that when we dare greatly, we will inevitably get hurt and fall on our faces, and that it’s equally as important to learn how to get back up from that and try again. I can tell how much I’ve grown because even though the experience hurt and trust was broken, there is no part of me that regretted trying or wished I hadn’t trusted. Instead of closing myself off and putting all my walls back up, which would have been my previous response, my reaction has been to figure out how to get back up and try again.

If you ever needed a small window into what Renee is passionate about: yesterday was a day off and I spent it listening to Pod Save America (an amazing podcast by some former Obama staffers); reading two books about the Trump/Clinton campaigns (Unbelievable by Katy Tur; Shattered by Jonathan Allen); discussing abortion and transgender issues with two friends; and watching Designated Survivor (a political show where the Capitol building is blown up during the State of the Union and only one member of the cabinet, the designated survivor, survives and becomes President). As my return date approaches, I’ve spent more and more time trying to figure out exactly where I stand on controversial political issues, following the upcoming Ontario Provincial election, thinking about where I could go see a rally for the 2018 U.S. midterm elections, trying to find the candidate/party I want to support in Canada’s 2019 elections, figuring out how I can get involved in Ottawa’s municipal elections. I’m not quite sure where all this passion and interest will lead but all I know is that it’s been amplified the longer I’ve been away, especially as my arrival date gets closer and closer. All this to say, I think I picked the right Master’s program.

In the next three months, it's possible that my posts get further and further apart as I have less to say. Or (more likely) they will continue to come, but become less about Mercy Ships and more about my efforts to transition, not only home, but to the next season of life.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

Giving a tour of our Midship/Café area.