A Sparkler or a Flame?

Blowing bubbles is serious work! I love this shot of one of our
cataract patients, Marie, that Timmy captured during a home
visit.

He did it so simply. This week we hosted the International Board of Mercy Ships on board the ship. In the end we had 32 guests come onboard, a mix of board members, their family members and Mercy Ships staff. Months of planning and extensive team work led to what the Chairman said was the best board meeting he’s had in 20 years. It really was a collaborative effort between myself, Tiffany and Lyndy, the executive assistant to the Managing Director. At one point, someone came and said, can you send your driver to pick up something at this foundation? I laughed and messaged Tiffany, hey driver, can you…And she always does everything with a smile and a positive attitude. I’m very thankful that God brought her here this field service to serve alongside me. 

The guests, all dressed up for a Presidential Dinner.

It was a privilege to be able to meet these lovely, wonderful people from all over the world who are invested in our mission and I was honoured to be given such a big responsibility. I am thankful that God used it to teach me many things, especially about delegation. Our head chef went above and beyond with delicious meals that had all the guests praising his cooking, and me joking that all the hard work was worth it just to be allowed to eat what he prepared. Our hospitality department worked long hours, and were always smiling as they took care of serving meals, preparing rooms, pouring coffee and being in many places at once. Almost every department participated in some way, going the extra mile to provide the necessary support. It was my challenge to delegate to all these departments, and in a way, maybe it was a warm up for this summer.

Speaking of this summer, I now leave in 24 days for Cameroon! Part of me is dreading all the goodbyes coming in the next month (starting with saying goodbye to Will on Wednesday) but the other part of me is incredibly excited to live on land for a while and to take on a new challenge. I tend to get a bit restless when change is just around the corner and start to pull away from relationships to protect myself. I’m working on not doing that, especially since I’ve made some friendships that I hope are ‘friends for life’. Michele told me a while back that we have, ‘friends for a season, friends for a reason and friends for life’, and I thought that was an interesting way of looking at it. I know that relationships grow when you experience conflict/disagreements, and there has been a bit of that, which has been neat to see God work through. Sometimes it can be hard to truly forgive people when they hurt you, to forgive them in a way where you aren’t keeping score, and so I prayed that God would help me forgive completely and wholly, and He has, to the point where I barely remember what happened!

Thankful to be able to spend Easter with these beauties :)

A few weeks ago, we celebrated Easter, which is always a wonderful time on the ship, but still difficult for me because I am reminded of how much I miss my family. I’m someone who loves tradition and family meals, so Christmas and Easter have been rather difficult this year. There were many ways to engage with the cross and the sacrifice that Jesus made, and I participated in some things I hadn’t done last year. Anna insisted that we go to the foot washing station and wash each other’s feet. I was very reluctant, as I don’t particularly like being touched, but I’m glad we did it. It’s a very vulnerable position to find yourself in. I can’t even imagine having Jesus, our saviour, washing my feet. And yet He does, He washes us clean every day, wipes away our sin. I struggled deeply that weekend. We had too much time off, and I started to think way too much, my brain kept going and going and I couldn’t do anything to make it stop, it was like this crazy pressure that was building. It scared me that one of my greatest strengths, my mind and being perceptive and questioning things, could turn against me and be out of my control. In a moment of clarity, I realized this is why I used to numb my brain with other experiences, so I wouldn’t have to think these things, I could push it away for a short period of time at least. And I could feel those temptations pulling at me, telling me they could make it stop. But since that moment, 3 years ago, when God opened my eyes, I know that those are temporary measures. That He is the only way. That He is risen. He is risen indeed. And so I prayed (and pleaded) that God would make it stop. It took some time, but it did subside. I am so thankful that we have a good Father, one who listens to our prayers and gives His children good gifts.

One of the sparkler pictures that I've used.

And this brings me to an analogy that Tyler and I have been discussing lately. In the Mercy Media Spotlights I share with the crew, the first picture is always a different shot of a person holding a sparkler. He asked me, why do you always use sparklers? I said it was because I loved the imagery that we are a light in the darkness, that we are exploding with light and hopefully our flames will land on others and set them alight as well. I use it to encourage others, that our words and actions make a difference, even if we don’t always immediately see the fruit/fire. We can be the spark that lights a bigger fire. He pointed out that sparklers eventually burn out; wouldn’t it be better to be a constantly burning flame, consistently shining God’s light, drawing others toward you? I was initially resistant to the idea – maybe we arent’t all called to be like that? But what happened Easter weekend made me realize that he is right (as usual). I am constantly at extremes and it’s not healthy. Michele has pointed it out to me as well. In The Screwtape letters, C.S. Lewis talks about the law of undulation, how being in time means constantly changing and that the closest thing to constancy we have is undulating, the repeated return to a level from which we repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks. So I know it’s not strange or unexpected that I go through cycles, but I think there is something to be said for trying to level those out. I don’t yet have the answer for this one, I’m still working my way through it. 

I always have too much to say (surprising right?!). I will leave you with the passage below. I love that God always shows us something new in His Word. This passage really jumped out at me. The same way that Moses sends out men to check out the land of Canaan and answer all these questions about it, the Advance team is being sent ahead to Cameroon to answer many questions and report back.

Moses sent them to spy out the land of Canaan and said to them, “Go up into the Negeb and go up into the hill country, and see what the land is, and whether the people who dwell in it are strong or weak, whether they are few or many, and whether the land that they dwell in is good or bad, and whether the cities that they dwell in are camps or strongholds, and whether the land is rich or poor, and whether there are trees in it or not. Be of good courage and bring some of the fruit of the land.” Now the time was the season of the first ripe grapes. ~ Numbers 13:17-20

Some of our patients, all dressed up and ready to celebrate their new start at life. I love these colourful outfits!