Today Is The Day

The beautiful Comms team come to send me off - clearly not
morning people! aha

Today is the day. The day the LORD has made. The day I leave the ship (for now) and head to Cameroon. I love change, but I’m not so good with impending goodbyes. This last two weeks has been full of them. Some have been ‘see you laters’, others have been final goodbyes. How can I simultaneously be so ready to go and yet not ready to go at all? I’m ready for something new, ready to live on land, ready to have a smaller community, ready for a new challenge, ready to see God show up in big ways, especially in my weakness. I’m not ready to leave all of these amazing people, the level of comfort reached from knowing where you stand with your friends, knowing you can find people to go on adventures with, being known. God is good and always provides exactly what we need – He knew that in this season I needed a few deep friendships to help me grow in unexpected ways. I know He will do it again in Cameroon and every season beyond that. 

The lovely farm owned by Stanislas' family - reminded me of
home! 

Last week, I was blessed with the opportunity to go on a home visit with our rehab team. I have far too much to say about it, so I wrote a separate post here: http://mercyshipsexperience.blogspot.com/p/other.html. The home visit was just one of many blessings last week, as I tried to rest before heading to Cameroon. We had a volleyball tournament on Saturday (we actually made it to the semis!), which was interrupted when it starting POURING. A group of us decided this was the perfect opportunity to frolic and play volleyball in the rain. It’s hilarious to see a group of grown adults running around and jumping in puddles. The Gurkhas got hospitality to bring a bunch of towels for us so we had a big drying off party on the gangway. We then decided it was time for one more country music drive, so off we went, splashing through the puddles and singing loudly. So much laughter and hilarity. Sunday was a family day – spent having breakfast off ship with one of the families, and taking the kids to the pool. So thankful to have had that time together with them.

Drying off after playing volleyball in the rain!

What’s the ship been doing, other than saying goodbyes? We hosted our final formal event, the partners’ reception; surgeries finished; the hospital and dockside tents are in pack down; the HOPE center was packed up and the team moved onto the ship; people are being trained for their new sailing roles (ie. galley, housekeeping, etc.); the Benin day crew who are becoming crew, moved onto the ship to settle into their new homes; some of our management team headed to Guinea to have preliminary discussions with them; we honoured the many patients who were told ‘no’, those we were unable to help. In the next week or so, they’ll be having a big party to celebrate and thank the day crew; honouring the long term crew who are leaving; having a flood of people leaving; and setting sail! I’m praying that everyone is able to go home and get some rest this summer and come back refreshed and ready for a new field service! 

Saying goodbye to Tiffany...

In getting ready to leave, there have been a lot of discussions of, what’s the biggest thing God taught you this field service? So many things! My answer usually encompasses vulnerability, identity, and the fact that I am such a Martha (works) and really need to learn to just sit at the feet of Jesus. Lately, God has been teaching me about boundaries (I know, that’s been a work in progress). I borrowed the book Boundaries from the chaplains, many months ago and just couldn’t get myself to read much of it. Every line was such a challenge for me.  This last week, I saw it and felt really convicted to read it. So much truth in there! I realized many of the problems I’d had this field service could have been avoided with proper boundaries. Some of the things that stuck with me: 

- My motivation – saying yes (or no) needs to come from a place of freedom, not fear or guilt or pride. I think too often my Yes’s come from those other emotions, feeling like I have to, or no one else will, or I should be serving, but God cares about the heart. He wants a genuine yes, a yes that comes from being truly free in Him. We were called into freedom, and this freedom results in gratitude, an overflowing heart, and love for others. I need to respect no’s from others and surround myself with people who respect my no’s, no’s said out of freedom.

- When you find all your joy or fulfillment from one person, essentially idolizing them, you aren’t leaving room for them to be human. You need to have other friends you can call and talk to when that friend is busy or upset of feeling selfish, etc. Your emotional well-being is not their responsibility.

- I started thinking about what behaviours I would change if there were consequences. For example, I often leave my laundry in the dryer because I forget about it, meaning someone else has to remove it and put it in a basket to dry their clothes. If I came back once or twice and my laundry was gone, I think I would learn my lesson. Now how to preemptively change my behaviour (because I don’t actually want my laundry to disappear…).

Yesterday I went up to the orphanage for the last time and said goodbye to all the kids, and Jon & Ashley. I’m going to miss that place deeply. We played some baseball, had a last lunch at the cafeteria, and took one final family picture. God is doing a big thing in Benin through the lives of these servant hearted people. This morning brought many more goodbyes on the ship and on the dock. Mercy Ships has a big culture of giving cards and I got many wonderful, thoughtful messages from friends. I am so thankful for all that God has done in my life in the last ten months, and I can’t wait to see what the next couple of months on Advance will bring! I'll try to post about Cameroon soon :)

The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep.The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. ~John 10:2-4

A big family photo from when we visited Arbre de Vie for Jon's birthday - I will miss all of these guys so much. Thankful for all the time I had to get to know them & for all the work God is doing there!