555 Days Away

Some quiet time in Limbe.

In less than one week, I will be back in Canada. I would be lying if I said I was able to think about anything else at this point. It will have been 555 days since I was last in Canada and I got to see my family. When I first committed to another two years on board the Africa Mercy, I figured I would be fine waiting until the summer to go home (I’m not exactly the homesick type), so I didn’t go home at Christmas. I hadn’t really factored in the possibility of Advance and how that would stretch my time away. It’s been hard to be away for so long, to miss so much. I’d like to say that if I could do it over, I would go home sooner, but the truth is, God has been at work in every one of those 555 days, everything has been in His perfect timing. Everything He has done over the last year and half, has led up to this point, this moment where I am itching to go, I absolutely cannot wait. 

I've talked at length about my journey to becoming more vulnerable. It took me leaving for an extended period of time, it took distance from the comfort of home, for me to be able to look back and see all the things that shaped me and led me to build walls. It took God convincing me that this was important, that to truly love people I had to be open and vulnerable and risk getting hurt. It took Him putting various people in my path, people to love me unconditionally, to mentor me, to push my physical boundaries, hugging and cuddling me, to challenge who I thought I was, to walk with me through that journey. And I've still got a long way to go.

Can't believe I get to see these guys in less than two weeks!

I’m reminded of that song, ‘Desert Song’, which describes praising God in every type of circumstance. I think I’ve experienced a bit of each of those seasons (harvest, battle, desert) over the last 555 days. I would say Onboarding was a season of Harvest, gathering up all the things God had to teach me and show me, every single day. The end of Benin was also a season of Harvest, with the strongest friendships I’d ever formed, every day a blessing with laughter and service. Advance was a Battle, one where we lifted up problems big and small to Him and got to see Him move in amazing ways. The first few months of this field service have been more like the Desert, feeling empty and far away from God, far too focused on work instead of people, making no progress, facing seemingly impossible challenges everyday. And so in every circumstance, ‘I will bring praise’. 

And it’s not just what He’s done in my life with me being here. It’s the way He’s worked at home, in the life of my family. The last few weeks have brought lots of rejoicing: close friends getting engaged, others about to have their first baby, friends about to head back to the mission field, others returning to the Ship, so many blessings. When I get home, I can’t wait to see even more examples of how God has been at work while I’ve been away!

Kirsten and I decided we needed our own 'couple' picture ;)

Last weekend, I was blessed to be able to spend a few days at the beach with friends, away from the Ship. It was the first real rest I’d had in a while. I was thankful for the amazing people I was with and realized how my relationship with each of them had grown, where I felt comfortable just being as is, I didn’t feel like I had to try. I was reminded once again that relationships take time and work. I was able to spend a lot of quiet time with God, rediscovering what I’m passionate about, being reminded of the goals He has set for me, getting some direction for what’s next.  I was also reminded to trust my impulse, that gut instinct, the nudge God gives me to do things. It’s almost always a way to bless someone else. Lately, I’ve been talking myself out of following up on those things or waiting too long to do them. I’m sure God blessed those people in other ways, but I’m missing out on being part of that. He’s giving me opportunities to be a part of blessing others, to practice that servant heart. 

And so as I write this in anticipation of going home, I’ve already started listening to Christmas music (it’s December already!). We have one big classic in my house – Celine Dion’s Christmas album. I can’t help but be convicted every time I hear her song ‘Don’t Save It All For Christmas Day’.

So don’t save it all for Christmas Day,

Find a way to give a little love every day,

Don’t save it all for Christmas Day,

Find your way, ‘cause holidays have come and gone

But love lives on, if you give on

Love

And just for all the people like Caitlyn, Kat, Anna, Rose and Shawn, in my life: How could you wait another minute, a hug is warmer when you’re in it. 

In summary, I’m incredibly thankful. Thankful for all God has done in those 555 days. Thankful for all the amazing people I’ve met. Thankful that I have the means to go home (and come back). Thankful that I have a home to go home to. Thankful for all the people who’ve supported me so far in this journey. Thankful that this journey isn’t over, that I get to walk with God every single day for the rest of my life. See you all soon! 

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ 1 Chronicles 16:34

I will definitely miss these two beauties! Mariama and Salamatou now have their casts off and will be heading home soon too.

A Virtual Reality Project

This basically summarizes the last three weeks!
Model: Ruben Plomp; PC: Ryan Kunkleman

One of the best parts of my job is getting to listen to our crew members be interviewed. People tend to be far more candid with strangers about some things, and interviewers tend to ask questions that wouldn’t come up in a normal conversation. Last week, I got to be present while the Oculus team interviewed Dr.Gary. It is always so encouraging to listen to him, but this time, something he said off camera is what stuck with me. They were discussing the pros and cons of our community on the Ship, and Dr.Gary said that one of the benefits of this community is that we are able to support each other, and that having this community allows us to stay in places longer without getting burnt out. He used the example of the Ship visiting Liberia after the civil war, and how aid workers would come in and only stay for a month because they couldn’t handle anything more. But the Ship was able to come in and stay for longer because the crew could retreat to the Ship, instead of being constantly immersed in it, and find support from a community who was all experiencing the same thing. I’ve often struggled with the fact that at the end of each day, we get to go back to our Western Ship and wondered if we would be better off living in the community. I think inherently I could see the value of having the Ship to retreat to, but I had never heard it explained it so well. Not to say that this is the only way to do missions, but it’s good to be reminded of the value of the Ship and why this continues to work so well and impact thousands of lives.

Part of the path to our patient's village.

The last two weeks has been full on filming for the Oculus Virtual Reality project. Last week, I explained the difficult and crazy process of locating our patient, and how amazing it was to finally meet her. Once she was approved for surgery, it was time for a home visit! It was an 8 hour drive to the village and once we arrived, we had to grab all our gear and trek up and down a small beaten path for 15-20 minutes. I was part of the second half of the team that drove up a day later and we were tasked with bringing food for the first half of the team because they had gotten up super early and didn’t have a chance to eat. Once we arrived, we weren’t exactly sure how we were going to get the food to the team, since we didn’t have enough food for the whole village and culturally it’s expected that you will share what you have. So we decided to go get the team and get them to come back to the car to eat the food. Well, when we got back to the car, a whole crowd had gathered and they told us they were hungry. Clearly, they had peeked into the car! It was a good thing we had bought lots of food because we ended up sharing half of it with the villagers. In the end, the team was fed and everyone was happy. 

It was really special to visit our patient’s village (really a small plot of land, with three structures on it), to meet all her siblings and play with them. Because the VR camera is filming 360 degrees, there was a lot of setting up the camera and then going to hide somewhere. Every time I would start to play soccer with the kids or try to learn their stepping game, the team would call me over to hide from the camera. At one point, they were conducting a long interview, so everyone gathered to watch and we had to make sure everyone stayed silent. This meant letting some of the girls play with my hair, shushing babies, and patiently waiting for the drunk uncle to wander off. The next morning, we got up at 4:30am to make sure that we would be in the perfect spot when the light was good (we were constantly chasing the good light on this trip). Ryan was getting ready to fly the drone and the director, Armando, said, okay now I want you to find one tree standing alone and shoot that. I laughed because we were filming in a forest and I didn’t think it would happen. He was basically looking for the tree from Lion King. Well, turns out Ryan found the perfect tree. I think the lesson was that it’s okay to shoot for the best, most ideal scenario.

We got to play with the chimps until
they tired us out!

Filming in VR is a whole new adventure because you have to place the camera and walk away. This can be nerve wracking when you’re in the middle of a busy market in Douala, but the team just did it anyway and had no problems. People tended to gather around us rather than the camera. We brought the team to see the chimpanzees and they used the drone to film some of the chimps who were on the island. They didn’t seem too happy with the drone, trying to throw rocks at it. They also wanted to place the camera itself on the island, but thankfully got talked out that, since there is no way that would have ended well – those chimps are aggressive! A few days after we returned from the home visit, our patient successfully had surgery (which the team captured with the VR camera). She is healing well and has been discharged to the HOPE Center! I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous for a surgery. It’s been amazing to walk this journey with our patient and to have an idea of what it’s like to be in her shoes. I’ve been pretty vague on the details because I don’t want to ‘scoop’ the project, but I’ll be sure to share more once they’ve released the VR film.

Some other note-worthy things this last few weeks: being part a high speed convoy with the governor on the way to the OBF Dress ceremony (they literally shut down the highway for us); being interviewed by the Oculus team as part of their extensive Behind The Scenes footage (as you can imagine, having three men tell me how I needed to look was my favourite part); getting to hear firsthand about the ripple effect of all the sexual assault allegations that are happening in Hollywood (most of the team is from L.A.); our chimp guide sitting on top of the car smoking while we driving over incredibly rough roads (pretty sure he is part chimp); getting scrubbed up and going into the OR to get some footage from the perspective of the patient (it’s going to be so cool to watch!); watching all the HOPE Center kids run after the drone, chanting ‘avion, avion’ (I didn’t know how to explain what a drone was so I told them it was a small plane & even had one of the caregivers ask me if there was a small man inside flying it).

Every day is a new adventure and I am so thankful for the things I get to experience while serving on this Ship. One of our wise leaders from onboarding was visiting the Ship for a few days and he reminded me that this is a place that wrecks us for the ordinary. I am challenged and pushed every day, and lately instead of being pushed to change or grow more, I’ve been challenged to just come before God and say this is who I am, with all my strengths and flaws, and to allow Him to work in me rather than constantly striving, always saying ‘I’ll do better’. As Michele likes to remind me, we are human beings not human doings. Not that striving is bad, but that I do need to check my motivations, just like with everything else. I’m thankful for the strength God has given me in the past three weeks, being energized when I should be exhausted. 20 more days until I'm home - but before then, three more Vision Trips and a long weekend in Limbe!

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. ~ Acts 4:32

Armando and Ryan with the VR camera
PC: Ruben Plomp

A Happy Heart

I’m sitting here writing this with a cold and a happy heart. I mention the cold because it’s possible none of this will make sense, and that would be why. The happy heart comes from having an old friend come back to the Ship for a few weeks. God always knows exactly what we need, even if we don’t. Some outside perspective, some laughter and reminiscing, some amazing teamwork, some new experiences and even some Dutch chocolate! 

Hanging out & trying out VR for the first time.
[Model: Ally Jones - PC: Jared Chacon]

Last week, there was one particularly memorable evening where a whole mixed group of us sat in a cabin laughing and talking. We had people visiting from the head office in Texas, from the UK, from the Netherlands, just a whole bunch of old friends coming back to the Ship, or people coming to the Ship for the first time. I got to try virtual reality technology for the first time – Ruben is here shooting a project for Facebook – Oculus Virtual Reality for Good. We are one of the ten NGO’s who get to make a virtual reality video. Let me tell you, it’s AMAZING! I honestly can’t say that I’ve ever seen technology used in such an incredible way. The first thing I watched was about a young Syrian refugee living in a refugee camp in Jordan. It’s as if you are there. You can look all around you. It’s incredibly powerful and touching. After everyone else got a turn, I proceeded to watch the rest of the videos that were loaded on the phone. I can see where this could potentially get dangerous. You forget where you are. You get lost in the new world. But you can also visit places that you would never get to see in person. You can see the world from someone else’s viewpoint. It’s an immersive experience, and I can’t wait for people to be able to experience the Ship from wherever they are. 

This project has just started and I’ve already seen God work in so many amazing ways. The team had their heart set on a specific patient that they found by working with the screening team. Except when the government called two weeks in advance to tell them when/where to be, the call wouldn’t go through. This patient couldn’t be found. So I decided I would go find them myself. I found someone who would take me to the village where she was screened. The screening team told me this wasn’t a good idea, for a variety of reasons, they asked me to let them try to get their contacts to find the patient. Looking back, I’m glad they stepped in because it turns out the village listed in their file, isn’t actually where they live. So I would have gone on a wild goose chase, all because I was too impatient to do the one thing I needed to do – pray. I thought I could take care of this myself. So on that day, that I had been planning on going driving through Cameroon, I had lunch with Michele (my boss) & Kate, and Michele wisely suggested that we go into the office and pray for this patient. A few minutes after everyone had gone back to work, I happened to be scrolling through the recent pictures that our photographers had put up, and I saw some from the home visit the Comms team had done last week, to visit a patient who had just had a large tumour removed.

The Oculus team all ready to go into the OR. 

In one of the pictures, she is with a young girl who also has a facial tumour. I asked our writer, who is this?? It was the patients’ daughter. She was also scheduled to come the same day as this patient I was looking for. Why don’t we follow this patient?! I ran down to screening and they looked through the whole database and could not find this patient. So I went up and had our translator call the patient they had visited to find out more information on her daughter. Turns out we had her name and age wrong. This was the same patient we had been looking for all this time. Here she was! I ran down to screening and they had figured it out at about the same time, realizing that one of the phone numbers on the forms was a match. I can’t tell you how excited I was. The media team had planned their whole trip around this patient and I honestly didn’t know how we were going to make this happen, I had exhausted all my human options, and then I finally (with some prodding) was able to step back and lay it at God’s feet. And now it’s turned into an even better story than we could have ever planned. I’m pretty sure God has been in it all along, from the moment this patient was first selected this summer. 

I got to meet our lovely patient for the first time last week and it was such a surreal moment. She’s had so many people praying for her and thinking about her. So far the tests have gone well, and if everything is good at tomorrow’s surgeon screening then she will get her surgery date. I am so excited for her! [Note: Our patient has now successfully had surgery! I'll give a further update next week].

Since I never take pictures of myself, here's a
picture I took of Ruben & Coach Hugo Broos.

Other than all that excitement, we got to host the coach of the Cameroonian national football team, which was pretty amusing because everyone recognized him and wanted pictures with him everywhere we went. For the most part the Crew had no idea who he was, but the Day Crew all knew him and wanted pictures. He seemed really moved by what he saw on board, and he really blessed us by talking to the Day Crew and answering questions about how to achieve your dreams, and doing a press conference to tell the media about the amazing work that Mercy Ships is doing. It’s great to know that people from all different walks of life are invested and touched by what we do. 

In terms of fun, we had our first volleyball tournament of the field service which was great (we were 2/4), but also made me realized how many people I don’t know on the Ship! There were whole teams out there who I had never seen before. At the same time, I feel like I have been developing some stronger friendships, being more open with people about what I need in a friendship, but also making more of an effort to spend time with a wide group of people. We had another fun Karaoke night and a one day trip to the beach with lots of driving in traffic. Cameroon is a beautiful country and I’m thankful that we are able to see lots of different parts of it. I’ve recently realized that I need to do a better job of loving people well, all the time, not expecting certain things or reactions from others, not hoping that the outcome will be that they change their behaviour. I can only control myself and how I respond to things, not how others respond. That I need to make my response love every time, that I need to take the focus off myself and put the focus on Him.  

One of chaplains, Andrea, shared a video with us last week about a man who has planted a tree EVERY SINGLE DAY for forty years, in this one area in India, to help preserve the land, and it has grown into a huge forest. The point was that we can achieve great things by being consistent, by loving people well, every single day. When we look back in 10 + years, will we see the fruit of what we’ve done over that time. That most times, it isn’t about the few big things we do well but rather the daily, little things that we do well. I’m still figuring out what that looks like in my life. 

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58

Faith of a Mustard Seed

As things have settled down a bit this field service, the hectic pace has become ‘normal’ in a sense. Every day brings new challenges, new mountains that seem insurmountable, but somehow surgeries continue, lives are transformed. It’s almost like living in two different worlds – the world of Deck 5, with the offices and the planning ahead and dealing with all the big problems; and the world of Deck 3, with patients singing and praising God, Day Crew laughing and loving with patients, crew and patients dancing, children screaming and learning to walk again, and so much more. I went down there the other day and our lovely fistula ladies were walking up and down the hallway singing, as part of their exercises. There were two patients sitting just outside the OR, awaiting their cataract surgery. One gentleman was stretching for no apparent reason – the Day Crew told me he had been doing that all morning – and cracking jokes, telling me that it was about not being scared and just trusting. The other man was sitting there was clearly getting a kick out of all his jokes. I learned that this other man used to be a big star for the Cameroonian national team. Standing there, at the bottom of the stairs, with the men laughing, the women dancing, children learning to walk again, I was reminded that no matter what struggles we have or think we have, God’s got it. We may look ahead one week or one month and see all the insurmountable mountains, but God has taken every mountain we’ve faced to date and thrown it into the sea. He will do the same, every day, with every problem. We just need the faith of a mustard seed.

A few weekends ago, some friends and I stayed off ship for a night and went to visit a Chimpanzee sanctuary. It was an amazing experience. When we first arrived, we got to hold and play with the baby chimps. Each chimp has a human ‘mom’, a Cameroonian man, who is always with them, sleeps with them, for the first 4 years of their lives. I’m not a big animal person, but you can’t help but love these little guys. They resemble human babies in a lot of ways. Then the guides took us out into the forest and called the older chimps, those who are between 4 and 9 years old. I’ve never seen anything like it – 6 chimps came running and when they saw one of our guides that were SO excited and all jumped on him. It was like how a child reacts when their parent comes home after being away for a while. Then, we all got to play with them. That was an experience. They are quite rough! Think of the Trashin’ the Camp scene from Tarzan, and that’s basically what was happening. Afterwards the guides took us out on a boat and brought us to see an island where the older chimps are. These chimps were HUGE and clearly very aggressive. The guides said they go on the island once a day but that visitors need to stay in the boat. I soon saw why. They pointed out the leader of the group, and he turned away from us, grabbed a small tree and then chucked it at us. He also threw back the fruit that the guides were throwing to them. Then we drove off to another island, one that had a whole clan, those that had been around the longest. The guide proceeded to jump in the water to get closer, so we followed suit! It was a refreshing swim but it turns out the current was quite strong – I was swimming as hard as I could just to stay in place. We soon climbed back into the boat. The whole thing was a crazy, awesome adventure.

That night we slept two to a bed in the cheapest hotel we could find, and I loved it. The feeling of sleeping without air conditioning, waking up to the sun, waking up feeling alive. It was exactly what I needed. We spent the day driving around, exploring some back roads, making some friends in a village where they kept telling us that this famous football player came from (we didn’t know who he was), and enjoying the beautiful Cameroonian scenery. What a beautiful country! A one point, we stopped at a bridge to get out and look around and were immediately attacked by a swarm of gnats/bugs. Madness ensued. Everyone raced back to the car and once inside, proceeded to kill all the bugs that had come in with us. There were hundreds and by the end of it the windows were covered in blood. Most of us are still dealing with these bites, weeks later. The whole weekend was full of funny moments. Multiple people getting peed on by chimps, people getting bitten by them, or having their hair used by a chimp to wipe its butt, picking the one car where the sound system didn’t work so we actually had to talk to each other…I definitely need more adventures like this. 

It was the perfect reminder of what the incarnational model of Jesus looks like. Every person that we interacted with was aware that we were with Mercy Ships (the logo on the car kind of gives that away). By taking the time to talk with them, to get to know them, we can demonstrate so much. Because most of the group didn’t speak French, I ended up as the official translator and spent hours conversing with our guide. He soon told me he didn’t believe in Jesus and I got to talk about why I did. I’m not sure I’ve ever had to share my faith in French before, so that was a good opportunity to think about how I want to express myself. By the end of the trip, he asked me why I hadn’t become a nun, since I clearly loved Jesus so much. That made me laugh, and Carys helped me out with the answer. He clearly saw something in us because when a group from Mercy Ships came the next day he told them about how nice and lovely we were and how we talked a lot about Jesus. That group was able to pray with him. Who knows how he will feel after seeing Mercy Shippers for 10 months? I think sometimes we forget about the transformative impact we can have on others, and that was a good reminder.

I also got to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving with all of the Canadian crew onboard – turns out there are way more than I thought! We were about 30 people, and some people kindly made Tim Hortons coffee and delicious doughnuts. We all had dinner together and shared what we were thankful for that year. It’s always good to reflect back and think about all the God has done. We also recently had a visit from our founder Don Stephens, and it was great to see him encourage the crew. We arranged an opportunity for him to address the Day Crew and that was really special to see. He thanked them for all their hard work and they asked him such thoughtful questions, about dreaming big dreams. You can see that many of them want to continue to have a big impact once Mercy Ships leaves, to continue to impact those around them. It’s incredibly encouraging to see all the passion they have. 

I also got to see this when I hosted CRTV on board for two days. Listening to the Crew, Day Crew and patients share their heart for this place is so encouraging. The team got to go into the OR to observe the morning team brief, which the OR Manager explained to me was a part of the WHO Safe Surgery Checklist. We have a team that goes around to all the regional hospitals and teaches this checklist. The media team was getting to see our team using it. Bringing together all the OR nurses, anesthetists, surgeons, everyone involved, to discuss each case for the day. Then, when the team interviewed one of the local surgeons who is being mentored, they asked her what was the biggest thing she had learned. She said that she had learned how important it is to have the whole team come together in the morning to discuss the cases they would do. We then went in to film her operating with our team, and as I stood there, I realized, here was a Cameroonian media team filming a Cameroonian surgeon operating on a Cameroonian patient. What an amazing thing! And that is ultimately what we are working toward. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.~ Romans 12:12

 

Bonus Post: Hair

Three and a half years ago, a friend shared the gospel with me, and the Holy Spirit compelled me to seriously consider what he was saying. The months that followed were truly life-changing for me as I began to learn who God was, what He had done to redeem us, and started to accept His grace for myself. Over the span of a few months, I experienced a level of peace and healing that I had never found before, something I had been subconsciously been searching for, and this led to me being baptized. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! God was making me into a new creation. The Bible gives us the image of God as the potter, with us as the clay, being molded and re-molded. And so, God began to change many things in me.

With all these changes happening, I thought that it would be a good idea to go and cut off all my hair. For the last ten or so years, I had avoided having long hair but never went as short as I dreamed of doing. I can’t say for sure what my mindset was – perhaps it was that I wanted to have control over something, or that my prideful self wanted to prove that I didn’t care what people thought, or that I wanted to see how Christians would react to someone who looked different. It was a challenge, to me or to others, I’m not sure. So I went and cut off most of my hair. Number 1 on the sides, longer on top. I loved it. It led to some interesting interactions. It turned out to be more high maintenance than when I’d had longer hair. It was with this haircut that I walked into Humbervale for the first time. My gospel sharing friend suggested I check out the young adult group there, even though I had been attending another church at the time.

So I went. And I never felt anything but openness and acceptance. They could have responded in many different ways, but instead they were kind and loving to this brash, outspoken, baby Christian. They invited me back. I went. They invited me to their young adult retreat. I went. That weekend, we went to the Sunday church service after the retreat. I felt God tell me strongly that this is where He wanted me. This congregation was older, German, Baptist, with old hymns and subdued worship, completely different from the church I had been attending. And yet, I sensed a level of warmth and love, a depth of wisdom and grace that perhaps only comes from years and years of walking with God. The young adults embraced me as I was, the families welcomed me in and modeled what a Christian family looks like, the older couples were humble and gracious and elicited respect from all those around them, including me. So I became part of this family.

But back to hair. I couldn’t tell you if it was a conscious or subconscious choice, but I began to grow my hair out. For those who have ever cut their hair very short, you know it’s a bit of an awkward process. But I just let it grow. And grow. I avoided the hair dresser because a part of me was nervous that I would just ask her to cut it all off. During that time, God was working on many things in my heart. One day, during a Sunday night worship, one of the chaplains asked us to ask God to show us how He saw us, to show us how He intends us to be. I had never thought of that before. So I did. What God showed me was the culmination (or perhaps the start) of a journey that I had been on.

God gave me a picture of myself, standing on the rock that is Christ. My cornerstone. In the image, I was wearing a flowing white dress and had long hair blowing in the wind. I can’t really do it justice with words but what He impressed on my heart was this: You are not just my child, you are my beautiful daughter. I wasn’t just a child of God, but a wonderfully, beautifully made daughter of God. Those of you who know me, know how much of a struggle that concept could be for me. God was bringing forth a piece of my identity that I had long tried to avoid. I realized this was something He had been working on for the last few years. One of the things He had put on my heart previously was that I should dress up for church, dress up for Him, in a skirt or dress. At the time, I understood it as a way to show to others that God was important to me. I previously wouldn’t dress up for anything, except maybe special occasions or a date. Church was like a date with God. But He was also working on helping me accept that I was His daughter, helping me to embrace that rather than push it away, showing me the value in it.

Now, a little over three years from when I first cut my hair, I find myself in a place where people comment on how long my hair is. I look in the mirror and can’t believe how much hair I have. A friend warned me about the stage when your hair is long enough that it gets caught in your armpits, and I thought that was hilarious until it happened. I have no idea what I’m doing so the other day I Googled, what to do with long hair. Yet, I realized in a way, it’s become a testimony of the transformation that God is working in me. The same way baptism is an outward expression of committing your life to Christ, growing my hair has been an outward expression of allowing God to work in me and mold me. When I worship, I see that image of myself again, standing in front of the throne of God, and I can’t help but play with my hair. A reminder of this promise from Him, of what He is calling me to be.

I don’t know how long I will continue to grow it. If it ever became a point of pride or vanity, it would need to go, but somehow I don’t see that happening. I had planned to wait until I went home in December and then cut it to match my sister’s length (shoulder length) because everyone kept commenting how alike we looked. A few weeks ago she got a buzz cut. There goes that plan. So the hair will stay, until I feel God tell me otherwise. The reason I write this is that I’ve felt really compelled for the last week or so that I needed to share this. To emphasize that God knows us, truly knows us, in a way that we don’t even know ourselves. Ask Him to show you how He sees you. You might be surprised. He intends for us to be made whole. He loves us while we are still broken. And so when I read the fruits of the Spirit, and think how can I possibly ever have these qualities, particularly gentleness, I’m reminded of that image God gave me, of how He intends me to be. I’m reminded that He is working in me every single day, making me new, and that with the help of the Spirit, it is possible to be all of these things and more.

[I walked into the dining room after writing this and the first thing someone said to me was, wow your hair is so long now! Couldn't help but laugh...]

So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel." ~ Jeremiah 18:3-6

It Is God Who Heals

Our lovely Comms team :)

The last two plus weeks have been a whirlwind, with an unbelievable amount of things being accomplished. I started to write out all the things that we’ve been doing but then realized it sounded a bit too much like the press statements I have been writing lately! The media coverage has been nonstop and we’ve done our best to try to sip from the fire hose. In the last two weeks, we’ve hosted several local media at the Dental Clinic; released 3 different press releases; hosted the national broadcaster onboard for a filmed tour of the Ship and hospital; hosted three Ministers (and their entourage) onboard for a quick tour of the Hospital and a meeting (with local media), followed by a large press conference at the local hospital; had a cameraman onboard to film the surgery of a patient that they had found in her village and followed to the Ship; and attended a dinner at the Governor’s residence with 70 other crew members, that was filmed by the media. The last one was quite an interesting experience as the media filmed us arriving, shaking hands with the Governor, eating, dancing, sitting, etc. The Governor was very welcoming and generous and arranged a lovely evening for our crew members.

Being interviewed in the dining room...

I’ve learned that the media say and do the funniest things. At the dinner, their question was, now that you’ve eaten and drunk well, are you strengthened to continue your mission? When Kate and I were answering questions for the team that came onboard, they asked us (on the record),  Are you married? Why not? When will you be married? I had to respond with a typical African response – when God wills it! So now, all of Cameroon knows that we are single. I’ve emailed journalists to point out errors in their stories and they have responded to apologize profusely for any embarrassment they caused the crew, and then not adjusted the story at all. I’ve had Journalism students who are doing reports on Mercy Ships demand to come onboard. I’ve had multiple people from the same media outlet asking for similar requests, each saying that they are different than their counterparts because they use a different medium or have a different purpose for their story. I’ve had a journalist message me the graphic details of his hernia problem. We’ve had ‘fake news’ with what we thought was a completely fabricated story out of left field, only to come face to face with the source the next day and realize there was a huge communication gap happening.

Every day is a new challenge that we’ve never faced, or at least not in these specific ways. I’m grateful for the way that we are able to support the rest of the Ship in a variety of ways, from helping to raise awareness of Dental & Eye screenings, to helping tell patient stories to encourage those who are fearful to come to the Ship, to stepping into more of a spokesperson role to let others focus on what they need to do. I’m also very thankful for Kate, that God sent us someone who is bilingual, kind, competent, driven and a quick learner. I wouldn’t have survived these last few months without her! Outside of our extra duties with the local media, we’ve also been doing our regular hosting – a lovely German lady who is including Mercy Ships in a play she is writing about people who bring hope; a Christian Dutch radio team who wants to bring more awareness about Mercy Ships (they want the Dutchies to take over the Ship!); and this week, a lovely US Vision Trip with guests who have been an encouragement to everyone.

Our orthopedic ward!

The Ship as a whole has been incredibly busy (as always!). I can’t believe how much 400 people are able to accomplish when they have a common goal. The Dental Clinic has treated over 500 people; the OR has done over 130 surgeries; the HOPE Center has welcomed hundreds of patients; the Eye team started screening last week and saw 600 people in one day; an Essential Pain Management course was held in Yaounde; a Biomed course for technicians is on its second week; one on one surgeon and anesthetist mentoring is underway; and so much more. I’ve witnessed people trying to manage the logistical struggle of bringing over 100 patients to the dock every day for various appointments; keeping the HOPE Center running without water, electricity and internet at various times; management navigate the challenges that come from working hand in hand with a government; screening trying to navigate what to do when not enough patients show up, or the wrong patients; nurses try and navigate the sheer number of languages spoken in Cameroon and the fact that we can’t possibly have translators that speak all these languages; the whole Ship come together as it tries to walk through a new way of doing things.

The beautiful ladies who shared their testimonies with us.

I also got to witness our first Dress Ceremony of the year where five beautiful women shared their testimonies, about how their lives have been transformed. The moment that really got me was when one woman said, even before she got her surgery, that she had found healing just by being on the Ship. That is why we are here. For those moments when media interview the Day Crew and they say that what they’ve learned the most is how to love people, all people, to care for everyone with a high level of excellence. When the Comms translator comes back from her visit to the dock and is in tears because she’s never seen people with these kinds of ailments. Nothing makes me prouder than those moments where the Day Crew share how changed they are by what they have seen. To hear guests comment on how much everyone loves their job, how they have so much passion for what they do. To hear the Governor say, It is the surgeons who provide surgery, but it is God who heals. That’s what makes this place so special, every single day. God meets us where we are, in our brokenness, and does amazing things.

Mount Cameroon peaking through the clouds.

Outside of work, there has been lots of board/card game playing (one game called Exploding Kittens, is particularly amusing) and late night conversations. There’s been Frisbee and pool parties and babysitting the kids. There’s been more off road adventures, which are always far more hilarious when basically the whole Comms team comes along and the photographers want to capture pictures of everything. There’s been spontaneous worship on Deck 8, powerful Sunday night messages and fascinating Bible studies. I’m thankful for friends who have been thoughtful in letting me know what’s happening [I’m not so good with just hanging out and waiting to see what happens], for friends who are passionate about God, for bosses who offer wisdom and insight, for mentors who make me think about things in new ways and encourage me, for family who loves me even though I’m across the ocean. 

These days, I waver between thinking I could never leave this place and feeling like I need to go home. Moments like when you’re at the HOPE Center for a church service and this cute little boy comes up to you and is laughing and playing with you, then suddenly falls fast asleep on you for half an hour, those are staying moments. Those moments when media teams send insensitive proposals that force you to get up and walk away from your computer, those are home moments. Those moments of visiting a local orphanage with Mercy Ministries and having several young girls play with your hair and give you big hugs, those are staying moments. Those moments when get overwhelmed and then feel like there’s no one you can go talk to in that moment, those are home moments. I'm focusing on making the most of those staying moments, praising God through every moment, thanking him for every thing. I recently read a book that said, what if tomorrow you only had the things that you thanked God for today? What a thought! And a challenge – to be thankful for every moment God provides, every breath, every opportunity to love others. 

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Colossians 3:17

One of the pictures from our off-roading adventure - this cracks me up every time I see it!

"Not Much Has Been Going On"

Our first patient, Justine, being carried up
the gangway!

Since the Ship’s arrival in Douala, everyone has been all in trying to get everything ready for the arrival of the patients. The first patients arrived at the HOPE Center 6 days after our arrival and the HOPE Center team did an amazing job of getting everything ready in that time. A small window into what that entails: waiting until the deck team can unload the container, with all their supplies, off the ship; unloading the container into a truck and having it delivered to the HOPE Center; building 222 beds (literally putting these metal beds together, which was infuriating at times); cleaning EVERYTHING; making the beds up with sheets and blankets and mosquito nets. And that’s just one of the tasks. With a team that was 4/5 new. And this amazing group of humans managed to get it all done, ready to welcome the first patients when they arrived. This allowed the patients to start coming to the Ship for their various screening appointments, getting diagnostics and scans before being screened by the surgeons.

Almost every department has had this intense level of set up, as we got to that moment last Monday where the first patients of the field service were admitted. On Tuesday we began surgeries and continued throughout the week, with maxillofacial, orthopaedic and women’s health surgeries all under way. What a crazy place we live when people can have surgery on Tuesday and already be discharged before the week is up. We’ve seen patients have their bandages removed and grin as they see their faces for the first time; we’ve seen cleft lips repaired on people of various ages; we’ve seen legs made straight; and so much more. With God’s sustaining love we’ve managed to get to this point, where from my non-medical viewpoint, miracles are done every day. I am still blown away by what our surgeons can do.

Surgeries are under way and we get everyone to help
(kidding! - the hospital had an open house and people got
to play at being a surgeon).

And amongst all this busyness, we’ve been bombarded by the local media, wanting to know what’s going on, wanting to come on the Ship, wanting to talk to patients, etc. We’ve been trying to craft an African media strategy on the fly, while honouring our close partnership with the Government of Cameroon, and protecting our patients. This was part of a very short article published on Friday in the Journal du Cameroon: Meanwhile, the hospital recently presented a report of their three weeks stay in Cameroon. This was during a meeting at the banquet hall in Douala.  Since the arrival of the Africa Mercy at the Douala port, not much has been going on.

Well there you have it. I’m surprised I can find anything to write about since nothing has been going on. We had a good laugh when we read that. On the flip side, I’m pretty sure my parents never thought I would be famous in Cameroon. This is from the Cameroon Tribune: In a statement, Africa Mercy’s Media Liaison, Renée Joubarne, says: “We are excited to begin the first of approximately 3,000 surgeries that will be performed during our time here.” The health exercise kicked off after about two weeks of being in the country, during which installations of medical equipment were going on board and in the three local hospitals in Douala. We’ve been fighting a numbers battle (some stories saying we will do 30,000 surgeries, 10,000 surgeries, 6,000, etc.) so I’ve been repeating the same number over and over. I’ve spent the week crafting (and translating) statements to be sent to the media, and to be read by various members of our leadership team on camera. Every few days the Day Crew come up to me and say, hey Renee I saw you on TV last night! Lovely…I’ve had to make a few statements in French and English, to the media when there is no one else available. Look mom, I’m on Cameroon TV! ;)

The whole Comms team celebrating Michele's birthday!

For all the stress and running around that has come with this, I always appreciate a new challenge, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to develop new skills and to gain new experiences. I’m learning I actually enjoy this kind of work. I’m particularly thankful to work in an organization that is fairly flat in terms of hierarchy, where I can be standing in the Managing Director’s office crafting a statement with the Hospital Director and they ask you for your input (and listen to what you say!). There can’t be too many organizations where you would get opportunities like this, and this week made me especially thankful for how special this place is.

One of my favourite things about the last two weeks has been all the dancing and singing going on. On Thursday, we hosted another edition of Comms Karaoke, with crew members writing new lyrics to Disney songs, coordinating dances/performances to well known songs, and just willing to be silly with us. We also went to the Malagasy Karaoke place with a big group of people, including all the Malagasy, and it was fun to see everyone laughing and singing and having a good time. My absolute favourite has probably been the office dance parties, with a few of us in an office, just dancing and being free. It’s been great to start to build deeper relationships with people (although these guys are all night owls and might kill me with all the late nights!).

Our Dental clinic is also up and running, with the first
screenings taking place last week.

One of the most difficult things this week was a situation with a patient that really got to me. I’ve always struggled with the dynamic that comes from needing to share patient stories vs. protecting patients privacy (I am heavily on the protecting patients privacy side of the argument, making it ironic that I’m on the Comms team sometimes). The Government flew in a young girl from up north because our surgeons told them it was urgent. I was really touched by how invested the Government was, that they would fly this one patient and a caregiver and cover the cost. But with that comes the fact that they invited media to cover her arrival, which if I’m honest, is probably the same thing my government would do if they were spending hundreds of dollars helping someone. That didn’t make it any easier for me to stand there as they emptied everyone else from the plane and had her come down last so that the media could capture it. It was an incredibly uncomfortable moment and I had to marvel at the courage of this young girl – she’s never left her village, never been on a plane, she’s here without a parent (the man with her was the only person in their village that happened to have an identity card and was able to come).

It really brought home the challenges that people face in receiving the health care they need. Even with the surgery being provided for free, there are so many other obstacles! Logistical problems, fear of the unknown, pressure from others in the village – every single one of our patients is so brave in taking a big leap of faith and trusting us with their lives. I’m grateful for each patient that God brings to us, allowing to cross paths with them, even if it is brief. We are so blessed by their courage and faith. This beautiful young girl is having surgery next week, please pray that it would go well, that God would wrap her in His arms and that she would feel so loved and valued during her time here, that we would be the hands and feet of Jesus.

But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. 

~ Titus 3:4-8

Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order to provide for urgent needs and not live unproductive lives. 

~ Titus 3:14

This all crew photo took place after a hospital evacuation drill and took lots of coordination from our Comms team - we're so excited to be here in Cameroon!