Finding Rest in Him Alone

Juste was having a good time playing with bubbles.

This week continued along at the hectic pace that has become the norm, however I finally figured out what God is trying to teach me. It’s something that my friends have been telling me for a while, but I was being too stubborn to listen. The idea of boundaries. Saying no. It’s not exactly my strong suit. It took reaching a place of being physically unable to do all the tasks asked of me, that I finally started to listen. Windsor commented to me that people keep giving me tasks because I am someone who will get it done, no matter what. I never thought of that as a bad thing before, but now I absolutely understand the problem. In a community where the job descriptions can be fuzzy and people are constantly turning over, it is very important to make sure that we are training those around us and that we are staying somewhat inside our job description. In a place where people come and go, you cannot make yourself invaluable – that hinders the mission and the work God is doing here. You are helping in the short term, but hurting in the long term. It’s a little like the idea from the book, When Helping Hurts, which talks about the importance of long term missions and doing them in a way that helps make the people self-sufficient, rather than relying on charity. It’s very important to think long-term, to not be caught up in this mindset where you are constantly putting out fires and running from one thing to the next. The second reason that getting any task done, is a problem, is because this is the first time I have been in a community that will allow that to happen, until you are completely burned out. It’s not that that’s what they want to happen – it’s just a byproduct of often being shorthanded in various roles, of having to meet with high level officials with staff that is constantly new, of having volunteers who are here to serve, in whatever capacity that means.

Training during one of the MCB courses.

Realizing this has made me very thankful that God has surrounded me with wise women (and an especially wise boss!) who check in to see how I am doing; who constantly encourage me; who help smooth the way for me to do my job well; who back me up when I do push back or push back for me; people who tell me to come by whenever I want and they will pray with me; people who deflect others when they are trying to discuss work with me at 9pm; people who celebrate me when I do say no. It’s amazing to be a part of this community, to see how God works through each of these people. A few weeks ago I talked about realizing how God uses people to speak to us, and it’s been wonderful to see that manifested as he answers prayers for wisdom, for strength, for guidance, though these amazing women.

Michelle, one of our physical therapists,
with Valentin, the first patient to have
surgery this field service.

And so, what has been happening on this beautiful hospital ship this week? Well for one, plastics and rehab are fully underway, with casts being applied and cut off daily. This means little kids screaming as their casts are cut off (it doesn’t hurt), being grumpy as a new cast is put on, and then shortly after dancing and laughing in the wards. It’s an adventure every time we go down there now, with kids running up and down the hall, blowing bubbles, dancing, riding bicycles, and just having a good time. Dr.Gary performed another 12 hour surgery, amongst the many others that he did. A member of the Nat Geo team filmed a surgery and then later showed parts of it to the nurse who had admitted the patient, really bringing it full circle for her. Each of our nurses cares so much for the patients and gets so invested in them and their success. Last weekend, we had a volleyball tournament and Nat Geo found out and came to film the final – the director said he wants to play in the next one (my team was 0/4...). This weekend, we had a trivia night on the ship and my team came in second place (10/10 in the Harry Potter category, too easy). Our Medical Capacity Building is well underway, with a Primary Trauma Care course taking place on the ship in one of our empty wards, and one on one mentoring happening in the OR with our surgeons and local surgeons. The Dental clinic is also hitting the ground running, with around 400 people showing up each Monday for the selection of patients for that week.

In terms of media and visitors, this week we gave a tour to some members of the petrol company we partner with; a tour to an NGO from France that has been doing great work here for a long time; hosted another local stringer (someone who writes stories for international publications); and got ready for the large number of visitors that we will be hosting this coming week. Of course, these are just the things that I see happening – there are many, many amazing things that go on every day, that I am unaware of.

Visiting Arbre de Vie!

Yesterday, 5 of us were able to go up north and visit this orphanage about 2 hours from the ship, called Arbre de Vie. It is run by a couple of Americans, and they have been to the ship a few times to help give us cultural pointers. God is doing amazing things there and it was such a blessing to go and visit. They have children all the way from 2 years old to 23 years old. They have around 30 kids, but support far more outside the orphanage itself. They just finished giving around 150 kids school supplies (school started this week in Benin) so that they could attend school. They also pair up children in the community with international sponsors and visit monthly to check in to see how they are doing. We played volleyball with them – they were very competitive and beat us (although they had about 20 people on their team!). We had a lovely tour, lunch and then helped them with a few projects before we headed back. They had asked that we bring some pallets, so one amazing crew member, Manda, came out in the pouring rain and helped us to tie the pallets to the car rack. Days like this are truly special and I'm grateful that God provided this opportunity.

I had another realization this week. For all the people telling me that I was doing a great job, I felt nothing when they told me those things. I didn’t feel joy or fulfillment or pride or anything. God reminded me that we don’t find fulfillment in those things, but rather we find that in Him alone. With all the work I have been doing, I have been neglecting quiet time with God, and I received clarity in that moment, that all the work I was doing, leads only to human praise of me, and that brings me nothing. It is only in God that I find my rest, my peace, my comfort. He was gently telling me, Renée you can continue to work very hard and do all these things, but you won’t be satisfied. You won’t reach a point where you feel like it’s enough or finished. Only by spending time with me and resting in me will you find the satisfaction that comes from knowing I love you, enough to send my Son to die on the cross to forgive your sins. Only by reading the Word and simply being with me will you be filled with the peace you seek, a peace that comes from knowing that you are enough, that you are worthy of love and belonging. 

For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. ~Hebrews 4:10-11 

As funny as it is, I think there is rest to be found in exercise as well. During one of our cross fit workouts this week, we ran the beep test.