Faith and Patience

Tom & his daughter Kaitlyn, were two of the guests I hosted a
few weeks ago. They are both remarkable people and it was
amazing to see how much this place touched their hearts. I love
the look of wonder on Kaitlyn's face as Dr.Gary explains
something to them.

In my Bible study group, we’ve been going through Hebrews and verse 6:12 has really stuck with me. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. What is the author saying is necessary to inherit the promises of God? Faith and patience. I think we could always use more of those. And this last week, I feel like God has been growing my measure of both faith and patience, through some remarkable encounters with patients and crew. Early in the week we learned about a delicate situation with one of the patients that the Comms team was following (I don’t want to give more details because it’s still in progress) and various members of the team came together to pray for the patient. We were all a little shaken by the situation and lifted the patient up to God, praying for healing and for wisdom and discernment for those who would make the tough decisions.

During our visit to the village with Don Stephens, Dr.Seraphine
brought us to visit his clinic where he does surgeries. This is the
inside of one of his OR's and Dr.Gary is examing his equipment
- all of which came from the previous Mercy Ship, the Anastasis.

The next day, I went on a palliative home care visit to accompany Nat Geo, who was filming the visit. As you can imagine, palliative (end of life) care visits are very difficult, but I found this especially so because the patient was a 14 month old baby. As we were welcomed into their home, and I understood the situation, I became overwhelmed with the hopelessness of it. I sat down and started to pray – I told God that I knew there was nothing else we could do to help this baby but I that if it was His will, could He please provide a miracle and save this baby. As the conversation with the family continued on, the grandma went and brought out documents that said that the tumour was benign. The team set up an appointment for the baby to come and have a CT scan and if it was indeed benign, to go straight into surgery. I was amazed. God had indeed produced a miracle. I just pray that the tumour is indeed benign and that everything would go well.

The line for the Eye Screening.

Later that week, I went and helped with the Eye screening that was taking place at the local hospital, to select the patients for cataract surgery in January. There were around 300 people in line and this was the 8^th day of screening. It was amazing to see how many people were brought by family members, people who helped them stand in line, explain what was happening and helped them shuffle inside. My grandma will be having cataract surgery in January (in Canada) and I couldn’t help but draw parallels between the two processes. Because of our health care system in Canada, the surgery is free for her, however she did had to wait almost a year. Instead of standing in a physical line, she essentially had to stand in a digital line. The big difference is that our government is taking care of her, while the people of Benin are being taken care of by an NGO, that is funded by people all over the world, and once we leave, that service will no longer be available to the people of Benin.

On Friday, just as we were ending the first session of our on ship ladies retreat, there was an overhead page that said Emergency Medical Team to OR3. In my time with Mercy Ships, I’ve never heard that announcement made. We all stopped immediately and began to pray (except for the emergency medical team, who sprinted down to OR3). Shortly afterwards there was a page for people with a specific blood type to go down to the lab. As time went on, we began to put the pieces together. It was one of the patient’s Nat Geo had been following, he was a few weeks post op and he was losing a lot of blood. Then they made an announcement asking everyone to stop and pray for the patient. A few of us were gathered in the Comms office and that’s what we did. It’s a pretty helpless feeling to be on a hospital ship in the middle of a medical emergency with absolutely no medical skills. But how we could help, was to pray, to petition God. All our national offices were also praying with us. We held a mini vigil in our office, praying and worshipping until we heard the last announcement for the night – the patient is in stable but critical condition. He has spent the last two nights in the ICU and is still being monitored closely, but from my understanding, it’s a miracle that he is alive and conscious after losing so much blood. One of our doctors wrote a really moving blog about what happened: https://carroninbenin.wordpress.com/2016/10/30/emt-to-or3/.

On our trip to the stilt village, one of our gurkhas accompanied
us - basically our very own James Bond.

All of these experiences really stretched and grew my faith. I saw God show up in amazing, miraculous ways. I was put in situations where all I could do was stop and pray. Some weeks, like when we’re sailing, bring home the fact that we live on a SHIP, but this was a week that really exemplified what it means to live in a HOSPITAL. What an insanely unique place to live, where work and life and community and love and professionalism and laughing are all brought together. And this brings me to where God was teaching me patience this week – although I know I’ll be working on this one until my last breath. In situations where you get drawn into an awkward power struggle or receive rude emails, I’m learning to do something other than respond immediately. I’m learning the power of waiting, consulting others and praying. And then, the problems seem to just solve themselves! People walk into my office as I’m about to finally respond and have already dealt with it or eliminated my dilemma. Waiting gives God an opportunity to work through the situation rather than me taking it into my own hands and dealing with it. At our retreat this weekend, we watched a Priscilla Shirer study and she talks about how we need to be still to hear God. Often He’s just waiting for us to stop for a moment and He will work in a situation (she explained it much better than that). I think God is teaching me to be still in various situations, at least long enough to see Him move in it. 

I’ve often struggled these past few months, filled with highs and lows, but the one thing I can’t deny is that God is working in this place. He is working in me. I think that’s a big part of my struggle – that He is constantly breaking me down and re-molding me. I learn new things every day, about leading and coaching, about loving on others, about forgiving myself, about nuance and empathy. I grow more competent in my job, yet less sure of my role. I grow more confident in Him, yet more lost in who I am and who He intends me to be. I read scripture like it’s the first time, that’s how much He is revealing, yet I am less certain of where I stand on controversial issues. But I know God is here and so that is where I want to be. 

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favour and honour;

no good thing does He withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

Lord Almighty,

blessed is the one who trusts in You.

~Psalm 84:10-12

Mary looks into the mirror for the first time after having surgery. What bravery that must take! A powerful moment, and a tangible example of how God is working to transform her life.

What Have We Been Doing Aboard the Africa Mercy?

So much has been happening that I haven’t been able to talk about, so let me give you an update on where things are at, aboard the ship! In the first 5 weeks of surgery we have provided 204 surgeries to 193 people. I did the math and that means that each surgeon does, on average, 2-3 surgeries a day. However, the number of surgeries per surgeon usually varies day to day, for example, when Dr.Gary performs a 12 hour surgery. Surgery times vary drastically based on the case and specialty. Of those 204 surgeries, 50 were maxillofacial surgeries, 69 were reconstructive plastic surgeries, 81 were general surgeries and 4 were ambulatory surgeries. Ambulatory surgeries are same day surgeries, or surgeries that don’t require an overnight hospital stay, and typically no anesthesia (I had to look that up). Our amazing statistician (one of his many roles) keeps such good stats that we know how many children vs. adults had surgery (79 children, 114 adults), how many men vs. women had surgery (130 men, 63 women) and how many came from Cotonou vs. elsewhere (104 from Cotonou, 89 elsewhere). I find this last number pretty amazing because so far we’ve only done screening in Cotonou, so that means those 89 people came here from other places, with the hope that we could help them.

Of the 50 maxfax surgeries that we have done so far, 10 of those have been cleft lip/palate repairs. One of these surgeries has been on Israel, an adorable 8 month old with a beautiful smile. Him and his mom have been discharged after his successful surgery and are back in their village now – about 2 hours away. Israel’s stay with us was rather short, only spending 5 days on the ward. Our plastics patients on the other hand, spend much longer with us. They go through many bandage changes, followed by extensive rehabilitation. Our first round of plastic surgeries will finish this week, with the second round beginning in January. In the meantime, we have lots of adorable children in various casts, running around the wards, dancing and playing. One of these cuties is Faith, a beautiful 3 year old girl with burns on her feet. She’s been with us for almost a month now and still has a ways to go before she is discharged.

When explaining general surgeries to guests, I typically only mention goiters and hernias, but general surgery also includes non facial tumours. An example of this is Wassiale, who had a lipoma, which is a benign tumour made of fatty tissue, on her neck. This beautiful mom of 4 kids was admitted, had surgery, and was discharged in a span of two weeks. She was able to go home to her family, noticeably transformed on the inside and the outside.

The path that our screening team will take this week.

Our Dental team has already seen over 1000 patients in the first 5 weeks that they’ve been at work, with around 400 people lining up every day Monday to be screened. Our Eye team started screening last Tuesday, and I haven’t yet heard how that’s going but I’m hoping to go this week and find out! They are finding patients for when they begin to operate in January. Our screening team is gone up country this week, holding screenings in three different cities further north in Benin: Kandi, Bembèrèké and Parakou. One of the National Geographic teams has gone with them to capture all the excitement. This year, they tested a new method for finding patients. They sent trained local crew throughout the country to make contacts with local leaders such as church leaders, imams, government officials, etc. and let them know that patients could come register with them to be seen at screening. Using a specially designed app, the local crew is able to get all the necessary information, take a picture, and send it to a member of the screening team on the ship who could immediately access and let them know whether or not they could be seen at the surgeon screening. It’s an interesting way of screening and I’m curious to hear feedback on how the processed worked.

Our very own Kat Sotolongo made this beautiful graphic!

Our Medical Capacity Building team has also been hard at work, putting on various courses. In the first 5 weeks of service, they have taught a SAFE Obstetric Anesthesia course, a Primary Trauma Care course and run a few sterile processing courses (how to properly clean surgical instruments after surgery – very important). The training courses also include a ‘Train the Trainers’ day, where some of the participants are taught how to teach the course to others, so that the knowledge can be passed on. So far 142 people have participated in these courses. The MCB team has also started their WHO Checklist project, which is a small team of people that travel to different hospitals throughout the country and teach them the WHO Checklist for safe surgery, which is proven to decrease operating room mortality by nearly 50%. Over the course of the field service our team plans to teach the checklist to representatives from 35 different hospitals in Benin. On top of this, the MCB has worked with the Ministry of Health to set up one on one mentoring onboard the ship with our surgeons and Beninois surgeons. Between vision trip guests, Nat Geo, Comms and surgeons being mentored, the OR sure has its hands full of visitors!

Add to this our Agricultural training course that will be starting in a few weeks, the 18 patients that our palliative care team has taken on, and the 13 Ponseti patients that are currently being seen, and you get an idea of how busy the last month or so has been! I know I mostly focus on the media/official visitors part (because that’s mostly what I see!) but hopefully this gives you a better idea of what the rest of this amazing hospital ship has been up to. And this doesn’t even include all the behind the scenes stuff, like cleaning engines, building guard shacks and staircases, fixing electrical systems, running fire drills, etc. but maybe I’ll get to that another day.

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. ~ Genesis 2:7

When the Founder Meets the President

The chairman of MSGA with Mary and her mother.

This place is wonderful and crazy and every week I do things that I would never have imagined. Let me preface this by saying that I worked 70 hours this week, so there wasn’t much room for anything else! These hours were a strange mix of high level discussions, detailed planning and constant change. This week was the culmination of all the planning that has been going on for the last few weeks – our founder, Don Stephens, came to visit, along with several other members of our international board of directors. They are all remarkable people, and as they shared their hearts with the crew on Thursday night, we got to see their passion and heart for this place and the work that Mercy Ships does. The guests included the previous Vice President of the Democratic Republic of Congo, who stayed for less than 24 hours because he had to fly back to help with peace talks in his country as they try to avoid a civil war; a woman who served as the first ever Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Africa during the Bush and Clinton administrations, and now runs a consultancy group specializing in the same field; a woman who is a doctor and started her own practice in Ghana and lends her time and expertise to several NGOs; a man described himself as the least educated McKinsey senior partner in the whole world (he doesn’t have an MBA); a man who worked for many years as the head of Nestle in China; a man who was the Vice President of Marketing and Sales for Daimler in Japan; and a woman who self-professed as not being ‘anything’, not having any specific role or title or qualifications but having been involved in Mercy Ships from the time it was just an idea being discussed around the dinner table. This is just to give you a taste of the depth and breadth of experience that is contained on the board of Mercy Ships – and this is only a small taste of the over 30 people who make up our board!

There was a contest to see who could get the
best selfie with Don - this was definitely the
one with the most people in it!

Each person had their own goals for their time onboard but there were some common activities. One of these was the signing of a Siege D’accord at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs on Tuesday. This was signed to establish a regional West African office for Mercy Ships here in Benin. From my understanding, this gives us diplomatic status similar to what another country’s ambassador would receive (I could be wrong about this). It was a bit of a funny event, because we were all set up in this nice large room, including having lots of local media, our Comms team and Nat Geo all there, when the head of protocol came in and said we were moving rooms. He proceeded to bring us into a much smaller (and less well lit) room, where everyone had to cram in. However both the Minister and Don gave lovely speeches, both talking about how important it is to take action and help others. From everything I have heard and seen, the government seems to be very invested in helping their people and improving the health care system in Benin. Our leadership team has been meeting with the government often and I believe they are working on developing a national surgical plan, which is one of the recommendations of the Lancet report. This was followed by a Town Hall aboard the ship, where Don and our Group Managing Director, Donovan, answered questions submitted by the crew and shared a bit of the vision moving forward with two ships. Donovan talked about being pioneers, and also the importance of scaling up all our processes to be able to function with two ships. It’s always wonderful to hear them speak so candidly about various topics, whether it is money, conflict, changes, etc. Later I thanked Don for his answers and he told me that he very strongly believed in being open and vulnerable. Working on vulnerability myself at the moment, this meant a lot.

President Talon talks to one of the patients as Don Stephens
and the Minister of Foreign Affairs look on.

Wednesday, the President of Benin came to visit the ship for the first time. It was a short one hour visit, but parts of it seemed pretty surreal. The day before the visit, the head of the President’s security came to examine the ship and speak to us. He was armed with a concealed weapon and said all his guards would be as well; he asked about possible contamination from the patients; he said the navy would be patrolling the water very close to the ship so we didn’t need to worry about closing all the curtains; he requested that we turn off the internet network for the duration of the visit and requested that they be allowed to bring on a device that would also shut down mobile networks; he had us shut all open doors along the route. It was all very intense but they are doing their job, the same way we are doing ours. The President’s visit was very special; he spoke with many of the patients and showed as much compassion as his wife had when she visited. The amount of media was insane – even though we limited the number who could come down to the hospital, between Nat Geo, Comms and local media, it was a whole scrum. At one point, we had people filming all the people who were filming the President. It was like inception. The President finished his tour of the hospital, signed our guest book and spent some time talking with our founder. Once he headed for the gangway, everyone followed, including the Minister of Health and the Minister of Foreign Affairs and we thought we were finished. The hospitality team started to clear things away, and our crew started to eat some of the leftover food. It turned out they weren’t done yet – the President asked that the ministers be allowed to stay and visit. I rushed upstairs to tell the team and basically shouted “Stop! They’re coming back!” Everyone froze mid bite and stared at me. It was hilarious – our crew was devouring the food. We managed to set everything back quickly and no one was the wiser.

This is another one of our board members - the kids were
teaching her how to play the drums.

This week also provided the opportunity to hear some really interesting conversations, both formal and informal. During one meeting, there was a whole discussion about the best way to handle development, whether we should hand over infrastructure projects to other NGOs or to governments. There were discussions on the ideal length of time to stay in a country, on how often we should return to a country, on what our medical capacity building focuses should be. Being a chauffeur has its perks when you get to listen to the founder and chief medical officer reminisce about Mercy Ships back in the day when they didn’t have air conditioning or internet. You get to have debates about politics, aid, democracy, and economics with passionate people who do this for a living (and who tell you that your Canadian accent gets stronger when you are arguing). You get to hear people’s stories of how they came to Christ, and how they came to Mercy Ships. You hear remarkable stories about how God uses surgeons to perform miracles, and the number of miracles seen in a lifetime of service to God.

This is off the internet, but this is basically what the dancing
hay spirit things looked like.

On Saturday, we went to visit a village that had a long history with Mercy Ships from back in the Anastasis days. Our host was a surgeon who had previously been mentored by Dr.Gary and who had grown up in this village before being chosen to go study medicine in Ukraine back when it was part of the USSR. He has his own practice now, which he showed us – the majority of the equipment in his OR had been donated by Mercy Ships many years ago and still worked well for his purposes. He took us to this village which is on the water (a stilt village), where around 25,000 people live and get around by small boats. As we approached in boats, we were greeted by this amazing performance of water dancing (I don’t really know what else to call it). It was a group who combined tribal dancing and paddling and put on quite a show. Once we arrived in their town hall area we were treated to a very…interesting performance. It was very strange, voodoo like, and hard to describe. There are these giant hay things which dance and move and I think the idea is that they are filled with a spirit. We didn’t really know what to think, but when they gave Don a chance to speak he shared that we were here because we follow the 2000 year old model of Jesus and I appreciated that.

Many things happened this week, not all of which I have had time to process. One thing that I am incredibly grateful for is having a boss who always has my back. Rather than giving me more work and pushing me to burnout (as many bosses would do) she has done an amazing job of supporting me and has insisted that I take some time off. Today I had a wonderful (and very much needed) day of rest and reading. I can’t fully explain how much it means to be supported by someone who is incredibly wise and supports you, fights battles for you, encourages you, and ensures you are well taken care of physically, emotionally and spiritually. Truly, I am grateful for my whole team – an amazing group of people who write me encouraging notes and provide hugs, candy and love. A group who empathizes, listens and insists that I stay out of the office on my rest day (which is why I am in here writing this now that they are all gone….hehe). I also discovered how much joy I get from having my own private dance parties – we all need those from time to time! All that said, I have to work on keeping my eyes focused on God through everything. His ways are good! There are so many things that worked out this week solely by the grace of God – it’s amazing to be in a place where we can see Him so tangibly at work. May you witness God’s endless love and grace in your life this week!

You make known to me the path of life;

    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
~ Psalm 16:11

I have twice been able to visit the Gate of No Return, built to show where over 10 million slaves were shipped off to Europe. It is very sobering and powerful to stand there and hear about all that they endured.
 [On a side note, I broke the camera on my phone so I won't have any personal pictures to share for a while].

Finding Rest in Him Alone

Juste was having a good time playing with bubbles.

This week continued along at the hectic pace that has become the norm, however I finally figured out what God is trying to teach me. It’s something that my friends have been telling me for a while, but I was being too stubborn to listen. The idea of boundaries. Saying no. It’s not exactly my strong suit. It took reaching a place of being physically unable to do all the tasks asked of me, that I finally started to listen. Windsor commented to me that people keep giving me tasks because I am someone who will get it done, no matter what. I never thought of that as a bad thing before, but now I absolutely understand the problem. In a community where the job descriptions can be fuzzy and people are constantly turning over, it is very important to make sure that we are training those around us and that we are staying somewhat inside our job description. In a place where people come and go, you cannot make yourself invaluable – that hinders the mission and the work God is doing here. You are helping in the short term, but hurting in the long term. It’s a little like the idea from the book, When Helping Hurts, which talks about the importance of long term missions and doing them in a way that helps make the people self-sufficient, rather than relying on charity. It’s very important to think long-term, to not be caught up in this mindset where you are constantly putting out fires and running from one thing to the next. The second reason that getting any task done, is a problem, is because this is the first time I have been in a community that will allow that to happen, until you are completely burned out. It’s not that that’s what they want to happen – it’s just a byproduct of often being shorthanded in various roles, of having to meet with high level officials with staff that is constantly new, of having volunteers who are here to serve, in whatever capacity that means.

Training during one of the MCB courses.

Realizing this has made me very thankful that God has surrounded me with wise women (and an especially wise boss!) who check in to see how I am doing; who constantly encourage me; who help smooth the way for me to do my job well; who back me up when I do push back or push back for me; people who tell me to come by whenever I want and they will pray with me; people who deflect others when they are trying to discuss work with me at 9pm; people who celebrate me when I do say no. It’s amazing to be a part of this community, to see how God works through each of these people. A few weeks ago I talked about realizing how God uses people to speak to us, and it’s been wonderful to see that manifested as he answers prayers for wisdom, for strength, for guidance, though these amazing women.

Michelle, one of our physical therapists,
with Valentin, the first patient to have
surgery this field service.

And so, what has been happening on this beautiful hospital ship this week? Well for one, plastics and rehab are fully underway, with casts being applied and cut off daily. This means little kids screaming as their casts are cut off (it doesn’t hurt), being grumpy as a new cast is put on, and then shortly after dancing and laughing in the wards. It’s an adventure every time we go down there now, with kids running up and down the hall, blowing bubbles, dancing, riding bicycles, and just having a good time. Dr.Gary performed another 12 hour surgery, amongst the many others that he did. A member of the Nat Geo team filmed a surgery and then later showed parts of it to the nurse who had admitted the patient, really bringing it full circle for her. Each of our nurses cares so much for the patients and gets so invested in them and their success. Last weekend, we had a volleyball tournament and Nat Geo found out and came to film the final – the director said he wants to play in the next one (my team was 0/4...). This weekend, we had a trivia night on the ship and my team came in second place (10/10 in the Harry Potter category, too easy). Our Medical Capacity Building is well underway, with a Primary Trauma Care course taking place on the ship in one of our empty wards, and one on one mentoring happening in the OR with our surgeons and local surgeons. The Dental clinic is also hitting the ground running, with around 400 people showing up each Monday for the selection of patients for that week.

In terms of media and visitors, this week we gave a tour to some members of the petrol company we partner with; a tour to an NGO from France that has been doing great work here for a long time; hosted another local stringer (someone who writes stories for international publications); and got ready for the large number of visitors that we will be hosting this coming week. Of course, these are just the things that I see happening – there are many, many amazing things that go on every day, that I am unaware of.

Visiting Arbre de Vie!

Yesterday, 5 of us were able to go up north and visit this orphanage about 2 hours from the ship, called Arbre de Vie. It is run by a couple of Americans, and they have been to the ship a few times to help give us cultural pointers. God is doing amazing things there and it was such a blessing to go and visit. They have children all the way from 2 years old to 23 years old. They have around 30 kids, but support far more outside the orphanage itself. They just finished giving around 150 kids school supplies (school started this week in Benin) so that they could attend school. They also pair up children in the community with international sponsors and visit monthly to check in to see how they are doing. We played volleyball with them – they were very competitive and beat us (although they had about 20 people on their team!). We had a lovely tour, lunch and then helped them with a few projects before we headed back. They had asked that we bring some pallets, so one amazing crew member, Manda, came out in the pouring rain and helped us to tie the pallets to the car rack. Days like this are truly special and I'm grateful that God provided this opportunity.

I had another realization this week. For all the people telling me that I was doing a great job, I felt nothing when they told me those things. I didn’t feel joy or fulfillment or pride or anything. God reminded me that we don’t find fulfillment in those things, but rather we find that in Him alone. With all the work I have been doing, I have been neglecting quiet time with God, and I received clarity in that moment, that all the work I was doing, leads only to human praise of me, and that brings me nothing. It is only in God that I find my rest, my peace, my comfort. He was gently telling me, Renée you can continue to work very hard and do all these things, but you won’t be satisfied. You won’t reach a point where you feel like it’s enough or finished. Only by spending time with me and resting in me will you find the satisfaction that comes from knowing I love you, enough to send my Son to die on the cross to forgive your sins. Only by reading the Word and simply being with me will you be filled with the peace you seek, a peace that comes from knowing that you are enough, that you are worthy of love and belonging. 

For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. ~Hebrews 4:10-11 

As funny as it is, I think there is rest to be found in exercise as well. During one of our cross fit workouts this week, we ran the beep test.