Week 10: A Pause

I have been struggling so much with what to write about last week. The things I want to share, I can’t, for various reasons and that weighs heavy on me. It’s definitely a lesson in seeing the big picture and not just how things are in relation to me. But if I can’t share what happened this week, then I start to just ramble about myself and that’s no good either. This was the start of my rambling:

Every week, when it comes to write another post, I can’t believe how fast the week went. When I think back on what I did the previous week, it’s unbelievable the amount of things that happened. Not that it’s a series of highs and lows, but it is a mix of adventures and exhaustion; conversations and quiet time; revelations from God and distance from Him in the midst of craziness; encouragement and frustration. All of these things happen and it’s what makes this an absolutely amazing place to be because every day I am stretched – to extend grace; to trust that God is working for good; to trust that others have a heart for God; to realize when an argument doesn’t matter; to be intentional with friendships; to learn to set boundaries. Every day is a continued walk with God and brings new perspective to Psalm 84:10, ‘Better is one day in your courts, than a thousand elsewhere’.

I’m not sure I should share any more than that, so I think this week will be a pause in terms of sharing stories.

Tsoa & Claudia singing at karaoke.

One new thing: I sang karaoke for the first time in my life. We went out to a small little karaoke place and it was lots of fun. One of my Malagasy friends insisted that I come up and sing with her, so that was an interesting adventure. Thankfully she was an amazing singer and I couldn’t hear myself at all so from my view, we sounded great! Karaoke bars seem to be a pretty big thing here, or at least, there are several of them around. Usually they are full of Malagasy men who seem to just like to sing – and they're actually really good. It’s an interesting mix of songs in English, French and Malagasy.

Part of the team teaching us to speak Malagasy.

One thing I observed: Seeing the Malagasy people step up and lead is really exciting. They’ve started Medical Malagasy language lessons every second week on board the ship, and I like to go because some of my friends are involved in helping out (and it’s super helpful!). The Malagasy day crew work along side us every day but we are usually their bosses or co-workers and it’s really cool to see them be in charge. They lead a lecture on the basics of the language and then several day crew run various stations/games and help us practice. It’s really wonderful to see them in this capacity and makes me really excited to see how the young adults in this country will rise up and help their country change and grow.

One thing I felt God was telling me: I very much get the sense that this is a season for listening – or maybe not a season, but a permanent change that should be happening. Most of you know that I talk a lot, but I feel like God has really been enabling me to be a listener lately. This has definitely been a week of conversations and every conversation puts in perspective another aspect of God and how he relates to us. As people share their stories and their heart, I learn more about how God is working in their lives and how He is working around me and it always blows me away. The subtle, and not so subtle, ways that He calls us or shares truth with us is amazing. I’ve had several people this week thank me for listening; for allowing them to talk; for asking questions. I even had someone thank me for the things I haven’t said. I feel like God is using them to tell me that THIS is Godly behaviour, that this is living His truths incarnationally, serving others with love. I remember reading Proverbs a while ago and being struck by the importance of listening, and wondering how I would ever be able to do this well.

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. – Proverbs 29:20

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. – Proverbs 18:2

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. – Proverbs 17:28

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. – Proverbs 21:23

Now this is a lot easier said than done, at least for me, but I feel that lately God has been helping me to work on this and now He is pointing out the fruit of this behaviour. It is certainly much more rewarding than arguing passionately and isolating or upsetting everyone. However, I’ve far from mastered this and I’m sure it will continue to be a struggle for a long time to come, but that’s the beauty of it – I’m forced to rely on God every day, in every conversation I have.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. - James 1:19-20

 

One of our beautiful orthopedic patients, Fifaliana, whose name means joy.